Q&A: Counseling Career?

Dear Pardymama,

A lot of my friends come to me with their problems or asking advice.  I've thought about going back to school for counseling, but I'm not sure I'd like it as a career choice.  Can you tell me what it's really like?  

Thanks,

Counseling Career Confusion

Dear CCC,

Absolutely!  If there is one thing I never get tired of talking about (besides my children) it's counseling. Several of my classmates and colleagues have that same gift of being the "go-to" friend for advice among their peer group.  Clearly, your friends perceive you to be trustworthy, empathetic, and a good listener.

You've probably felt wise at times and totally uncertain at others.  Sometimes it's hard to know what to say or how to say it, and your investment in your friendships and concern for those you care about can make it difficult to clearly know how to handle a situation at times.  That's relationship.

Becoming a therapist absolutely utilizes those natural gifts you already possess.  But, the client/therapist relationship has a secure boundary held by professionalism and confidentiality that can allow for process and progress that's quite different than any other kind of relationship.  An education that hones your skills as well as equips you with tools you couldn't otherwise learn outside the classroom, can provide you the next step to really expand your abilities into an expertise.  Therapy is quite different than advice giving, and it does require an endurance that will sharpen your listening skills to a fine point.

Though I've barely dipped my toes into the client-pool, I can tell you so far what it is like to actually sit in a room week after week and listen for 50 minutes straight to someone's story, issues, questions, confusion, anxiety, worries, hopes, or hurts.  It's exhilarating...but, it's not for everyone.  I can certainly understand why others would find it draining or boring, just like how I'm not meant to be a firefighter or accountant!  But, I find therapy strangely exhausting and energizing at the same time.  It's like reading a good book, when you read late into the night and feel tired but just can't help but want to keep going and find out what happens next.  When I'm there in that moment, I always want to be there.

It's intimidating, and humbling.  Sitting with someone in a little hub of vulnerability, where the whirlwind world sits just outside my door with the "In Session" sign hanging on it, I recognize the intrinsic privilege I have of getting to be "that person" for the clients that sit before me.  Though it might seem daunting at first,  I have a peace that surpasses my understanding when I sit in that room.

I rest on the security of God's purpose for my presence in that moment, and on the education I've invested in learning - leaning on the wealth of information, tools, and support that my Supervisors and classmates provide me.  I trust the science and the data and the Holy Spirit all at the same time.  And I prayerfully do my best to balance my life inside that room with the one I live outside it.  I'm still me...just looking more thoughtfully through the lens of "therapist" and less as the invested friend I would be if I had a connection to the client I'm helping.  This is a really important difference to note, because it's what allows me to leave this emotional context at the office, and not bear it when I go home.

I would suggest you go to therapy if you haven't already, so that you can get the client's perspective on the experience.  Then, speak with local counselors you trust about their own practices.  There is a wide range of motivations behind why people become mental health professionals, and the audience that they serve can vary just as much.  For me, I feel like I'm fulfilling something that has always been percolating inside me.  It will be a lifelong pursuit to grow as a therapist, as it's an ever-changing field that appears limitless in its study.

Whatever you choose to do as a career, keep on being that wonderful "go-to" friend that people can trust with their hearts.  Empathy is a gift that can't be overused.  Trust God with your gifts, and you can't steer wrong.

Q&A: Therapy For My Friend?

Pardymama,
I have a friend that could probably benefit from going to therapy.  She's going through a difficult time in her life and I feel like my help and advice as a friend has reached it's limit.  How do I encourage her to go see a therapist?

Sincerely,

Frustrated Friend

Dear Frustrated,

For anyone who is wanting someone they know to go to therapy, I have three important words for you:  Go to therapy.  Yes, you.  

If you've never been to therapy before, then this will be a new adventure for you - one which you can take back and share with your friend each week and offer her your experience on the topic of "What's therapy like?"  If you have been to therapy before, then you know it can benefit more than just your own life - it inevitably affects those around you as well.  (If it doesn't, you might consider changing therapists). 

By going to therapy, you can flat-out ask your therapist to offer you some deeper insight into your friendship and how you can encourage your friend throughout this difficult season of her life.  Your steps towards a healthier life might just rub off on your friend and inspire her to take some action as well.  

By sharing your positive experience with therapy with your friend you automatically do two things:  1) diminish the shame and stigma that therapy is solely reserved for those who "have problems" and 2) endorse that getting help is a strength and not a weakness.  You might even offer to go with your friend to therapy if or when she decides to begin that process.

In the meantime, take a deep breath and a step back.  You are not responsible for your friend's process or actions.  You can't fast-forward time, make decisions for her, or burden yourself with things that are beyond your control (or hers).  But, you can pray for her, pray with her, and just SIT with her.  Don't underestimate the power of being present.  Often, the deepest friendships are built more in the silences we share than the words we speak.  You sound like a great friend - sometimes just being present with her is best therapy she could ever get.

Classy Gal

Back to School!

Just weeks ago, I crossed a major threshold in my education and met the halfway point in my Masters Degree!  Last night I officially became a "Second Year" student in the Marriage & Family Therapy program, stepping ever closer to my goal.

Whoa.  Guys.  The first night of class is always overwhelming, and last night was no exception.  I've had many "first days of school" and yet it felt like the first time all over again as I held the fire hose - err, I mean Syllabus - and felt my brain numb inside my skull.

Assessments, Exams, Papers, Interviews, Videos, Community engagement, and books upon books of reading to accomplish.  Really?  All of this will get done in the coming weeks?  By me?

Yes. It will.  But, not without your support.  All of you - any of you - who read PARDYMAMA and reach out to me and pray for me and encourage me to no end....we are on the home stretch!  The final year is here!  But, at this very moment I can not imagine it all getting done.  The mountain is before me, and I'm weary, and I'm in awe, and I'm oh-so-curious what is on the other side.

I struggle with the insignificancy of my life/complaints/happenings/problems/issues.  I know that there are insanely unexplainable horrific things happening in the world that are far, far, far more urgent and important than my needs.  I am beyond blessed, and it feels selfish to pray for myself amidst the news that surrounds us all of someone else's pain or persecution.

But, our God is bigger than it all.  God is the God of "heal my friend from a terminal disease" and the same God of "help me not lose my temper with my toddler".  It's bewildering and humbling to me that I can lay my stress at the foot of the cross the same as I can a global crisis.  WHAT?!  Yep, He's the God of it all.  He cares just as much.  My needs are valid, even within the context of this crazy-fallen world full of mystery and evil and challenges that run the whole spectrum.

Do you have a significant need in your personal life that seems too insignificant to ask others to pray for?  I do.  I have many.  And I'm dumbfounded at the reminder of 1 Peter 5:7,

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Catch that?  ALL your anxiety.  All MY anxiety.  Not just the global crises, the terminal illnesses, the broken relationships, or the catastrophes...but, the stresses of work, the frustrations of motherhood, the never-ending to-do list that keeps you awake at night, and the financial concerns that keep piling up.  All of it.  And this gal is going back to class needing your prayers.

Would you pray for me in this season of crazy?  Can you let me know how I can pray for you?

I can't do this alone, and I knew that going into it.  But, at this very first day of my second year in, I'm overwhelmed with the duties before me.  The next 365ish days are going to push me to the edge, and I want you all there holding my hands, helping me remember why I'm here in the first place and helping me enjoy the view.

Please pray for my ability to maintain healthy boundaries, to be able to keep my priorities and time management reasonable.  Please pray for my family as they endure the brunt of my attention being spread thin, that we can work together toward this goal and grow closer through it again this year.  Please pray for mindfulness for myself, that I can be in the present and maintain a grateful heart amidst the chaos, not wanting to fast-forward through this experience and just skip to the end.  Whew.  Thank you.  THANK YOU.  Your prayers mean the world to me.

Prayer changes things...but more powerfully, prayer changes people.  And, it is such a unique and brilliant privilege to get to communicate directly to our Creator about our specific needs, no matter how great or small.  I would LOVE the privilege to specifically pray for you as well - we're in this TOGETHER after all!  Don't hesitate to shoot me an email with a prayer request.  I promise to lift you up to our great big God who will tackle all our anxieties better than either of us ever could on our own.  

Gonna be a great year - here we go!

Email me: emily@pardymama.com to exchange a prayer request!

Depression and The Art of Brokenness

If there was ever a week to write about depression, this seems to be it.

I've debated for days whether to step into the conversation or not, or how to go about doing so, as the web seems to be inundated with expressions of honesty, grief, judgment, confusion, and all sorts of grasping-for-answers editorials following the suicide of Robin Williams.

With the genocide that's taking place elsewhere in the world, I'm both dumbfounded at the publicity one celebrity's crisis can cause, yet grateful for the moment being taken to address the seriousness of mental illness.  Horrific things happen.  Everywhere.  We are a broken world.

We are all living in a turbulent space where we can watch silly cat videos on YouTube one second and directly follow them up with reading an article about the beheading of Christians an ocean away.  Then we click our iPhone off and stir our spaghetti and send our kids to time-out and distract ourselves with the only constants we can depend on like laundry and dirty dishes, and the world continues to spin.  Messed up, right? This is the broken world we live in, and we're all doing our best to survive.

I don't have anything to say about Robin Williams.  I didn't know him any better than most of you, and while I'm incredibly indebted to him to have experienced narratives through his lens as an actor, I truly knew nothing of him as a person, let alone a fellow broken human being.  This is to say, I want to tell you about my depression, and I don't want to mislead you in anyway that I have an inkling as to what he felt or experienced in any way, shape, or form.

That's one of the mysteries of depression - there are enough commonalities with the diagnosis that we can draw a line in the sand and say "You need help, and You don't" (by the way, FALSE, we all need help) but it runs a wide spectrum of actual experience, and therefore confusion tends to build with each and every story that's expressed.

I can remember the day when I woke up and took my first Zoloft.  I remember thinking "Today, I'm a person who has to be medicated to function normally."  It felt awful.  There was nothing courageous or hopeful about it for me in the moment.  I felt weak, dumb, inadequate, and questioned the God I kept placing my faith in.  Where was He?  Why didn't I feel better?  How could this be His best for me?

I felt very alone. I had never known anyone who was depressed before, let alone someone who needed to be medicated for it.  In fact, it would be years before I would find out that I actually did know people around me at the time who had gone through similar experiences, but at this point in my life it was quite taboo to talk about such things, so I became as secretive as they had in my going to therapy and seeking help.  So, I created my own silo to heal in, and rarely let anyone in.

I didn't know how to feel, why to feel, or what to change in order to feel differently.  I could list reasons for days of everything I had to live for, be grateful for, to praise God for; yet the cloud would not lift.  I could smile at parties, put on a decent facade, and only hours later be fighting demons in the night that held my joy hostage.

The bottom line was, I didn't know what to do.  There were times when suicide seemed rational.  Times when building a time machine and going to live in a new universe seemed more plausible than ever finding actual healing.  Times when I wished God hadn't burdened those around me with my existence.  Times I have every reason to feel shame for, yet by the grace of God can only look back on with gratitude and heartache.

It's been a good ten years since those times.  I would not be so bold as to say "I'm healed."  I don't think I will say that until the day I meet my Savior face to face.  There are grains of depression still seeded in my soul, and there are battle wounds left to remind me of that from which I'm in remission.

Depression, for me, was a perfect storm which I survived, not unscathed.  It was biological, circumstantial, hormonal, environmental, spiritual, and psychological.  It's root was multi-faceted, and therefore, my treatment became mulit-sourced.  Every part of my life was affected by my depression, therefore, every part of my life had to be marked by change as I changed.

Little by little, the cloud dissipated, and I live a life free from the grip of depression today.  Let it not go unnoticed that for years, I thought this was impossible.  I thought this kind of freedom was reserved for those luckier than I - those who were privileged with extreme optimism, deeper faith, or extraordinary support.  Yet, here I am, a survivor and ever grateful.

We can't live in silos any longer.  I'm joining the conversation of depression with this post because I want to continue the exposure, and extinguish the stigma.  The shame that's attached to depression is rooted in an insecurity that we all have: the thought that I can't handle this.  That's right.  YOU CAN'T.  We were not meant to handle life alone.  We were not made to hide from help.  We were not created to shut out sources of healing.  And, as grisly or uncomfortable as this life gets, the only way to break down these silos is to share our broken hearts and stories of healing.

Christ alone has the power to bring recovery - but, He most often is gracious to include us in the process.  My recovery included dozens of people, books, therapists, science, medication, encouraging words, loving acts of service, prayer, and the list goes on an on.  Christ utilizes time, resources, and relationships.  He didn't create us to find power within ourselves, He made us to relate to one another in our weaknesses, finding Him through the process.

Guys - I'm becoming a THERAPIST.  I'm joining the professional industry of mental health workers out there, and I'M A BROKEN PERSON.  I hope this sinks in for you.  I'm not "fixed and ready to fix others".  I'm actively seeking help from multiple sources on a consistent basis, and I am honored to join in the process of someone else on their journey of reaching out for help.

A decade ago, I was embarrassed to admit I needed help.  I was ashamed I saw a therapist.  And now I'm becoming one.  Don't worry, I'm not trying to recruit you.  Not all of us were called to a mental health as a vocation; but ALL of us have a story, a voice, a time and place we can reach across silos and expose brokenness for what it really is:  LIFE.

This life is ugly, filled with doubt and horror, but we are not alone, and we are not without hope.  The stories that bring us together are often the hardest ones to tell.  Encourage bravery, seek help, and take confidence that our story is not yet finished.

Behind the Scenes

So, you may have seen that last week I wrote this article for Venn Magazine, titled "Divorce is Always an Option".  In it, I very vulnerably describe some emotions I felt when I walked through my own divorce several years ago, and how that has impacted my current marriage in a powerful way.

Choosing marriage daily is vital in a world where we are bombarded with options.  Options for who to love, where to invest our time, how to be a better person, why to choose a certain religion, or deciding what I think is best for me based on mostly feelings-in-the-moment.  Options are everywhere all the time.  THIS is why I wrote the article.  To help myself (and maybe others!) remember the COST of some of the options that are so enticing.

It was a hard article to write, and it had been in my brain and heart for a couple years - percolating and waiting to find just the right time and place to post my heart-on-a-platter story.  Venn does a great job at giving "both sides to a story"and uniting ideas that seemingly contradict each other, so I jumped at the opportunity when they liked my pitch for the article.

While I have zero shame attached to my divorce story (thanks to the grace of God and quality therapy), it's never easy to depict such a grief-stricken, brokenhearted time in my life.  I have to wade through the rolodex of memories in the back of my mind, plucking out emotions that I haven't felt in many years, and "relive" them in a sense as I do my best to genuinely convey an honest tale.

So, I almost didn't write it.  I mean, who wants to go there?

It's so easy to leave pain in the foreign land of forgotten memories and let it just rot and die there with the rest of my attachments to that time in my life.  It's long over.  I've obviously moved on.  So, there must be something wrong with me if I'm willing to pick at the wound that's merely a scar that's easily hidden.

Too easy.  And, just like that hidden scar, I kind of wanted to hide this article and not let anyone know about it.

Guys, up until the very day this article hit the web, I doubted it's impact.  Even though these words had been brewing in me for a long time, I was ready to let it skate by unnoticed and not very willing to let God use them however He wanted.  I thought "Eh, maybe I won't tweet about this article or post it on Facebook.  Maybe I'll just let strangers stumble upon it and see what happens."  But, God stirred my heart and so I threw those words out into the light - and oh, God used those words.

The day the article hit the web, I received more emails, more comments, more "shares" than maybe anything I'd ever written before.  Hearts were touched and reminded of the hope that pain and progress hold; and I was put in my place for ever having doubted God's timing for those words.

Satan LOVES insecurity.  Sometimes I think it must be his favorite game to play with us.  And more often than not, I find myself lost in the forest of temptation, bombarded by worries about "What if..."and soon traveling down the path towards "I doubt..."

I'm giving you this behind-the-scenes look into the wild mind of a freelance writer, because I don't want you to read or see that article and think for a second that "Wow, she can just unzip her heart and put it out there for all to see and never have any question!  She must be so confident and trust God all the time!"  Surprise - I'm human.  And full of irrational worries that God holds and molds into something useful that I can actually benefit from.

It's the ugly vessel that is used most often.  I'm learning this over and over again as I continue to ask God to pour and pour and pour through my fingertips.  The more I reveal, the more I fling back the curtain so you all can see the heart that's being molded, the more I feel God can actually use me for His purpose instead of my own.

It's not easy to get gritty and honest with ourselves.  It's even harder to share that with others.  But, looking inside is not the same as looking back.

The pain of the past changes us, and to put away that pain forever would be a misuse of an opportunity to further ourselves, reach out to others, and acknowledge the new abilities of a malleable heart.  Don't tuck away that opportunity forever if you have something in your heart that God is working on.  Ask God to give you the courage and time to reveal those wounds when they can be used for His purpose.  Maybe it's alone in a therapy room speaking with someone confidentially, or maybe it's on a public forum for everyone to see (I do both!)

I'm going to share with you one of my all-time FAVORITE passages out of the Bible.  Yes, it's long.  Ok, it's an entire chapter...but, if you've stuck with me this far, you can keep going.  Let the words sink into your bones.  Let the message reach your heart.  Let God work IN you.  It's uncomfortably comforting, and I pray you'll be blessed from it's truth:

2 Corinthians 4 New International Version (NIV)  [Bold added]

Present Weakness and Resurrection Life

4 Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. ² Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. ³ And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. ⁴ The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. ⁵ For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶ For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”^[a] made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Tell Me About It

Soooo, this is new...

See My Full Profile

In January I begin my Practicum/Internship as part of my Masters program in Marriage & Family Therapy.  This is crazy news for me, because essentially it means I will begin to take on clients as my own.  Yes - I'll be doing therapy with real live people in a real, actual office.

Different students take a different approach to their internships, and I've opted to go the route of private practice.  I'm reaching out, building my own client base, and that means asking you to refer me if the opportunity presents itself.  So, you'll notice a new link on the PARDYMAMA site that directs you to my info if you want to lend my contact info to someone you know, or let your church or work know that they can get counseling at a very affordable price.

As an Intern, I won't make a cent for the next 20 months.  So, my "fee" is insanely low since it just covers the cost for my Supervisors to allow me to practice at their location.  (We're talking like $20 - $45 on average for a session.)

I know what you're thinking "Umm, are you READY for this?  Are you even qualified?"  And I assure you that no one considers these inquiries more than yours truly.  In fact, several friends and family have already raised their eyebrows, given me the stink-eye, and awkwardly asked the very same questions.  And, I don't blame them.

Here's the deal:  Yes, I'm eager and ready and have been trained to handle certain circumstances and know where to turn when I don't.  Yes, I am also anxious about the initial people and issues and problems that I might encounter where it will be uncomfortable or beyond my scope of readiness.  No, I'm not doling out advice to people about what "I think" they should do with their lives.  No, I'm not here to change people or heal them or enforce my belief system on them.  That's NOT what therapy is.  And, for more info on why I've decided to become a therapist and what therapy actually is, please read my posts here and here about it.

I'm here to listen.  I'm here to engage.  I'm here to help.  I'm here to use the gifts like empathy, understanding, and compassion that Jesus models for us.  I'm here to team up with my clients and help them tap into resources they already have access too and motivate them in their own desires for change and healing.  This is a team effort, with an incredibly intricate support system in place to help guide me and my clients along the way.  And that I am STOKED for.

Please pray for me and my future clients as I take this brave step into a new chapter in the year ahead.  I appreciate your support more than you know, and I'm grateful for any friends, family, and strangers you refer to me.

Let the adventure begin!

Why I'm Becoming a Therapist (pt. 2)

Yesterday, I talked a little about why I'm going back to school to get my Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy.  It's pretty crazy to think that in not too long, someone will actually be referring to ME as their therapist!?!

Have you ever been to therapy?  Does it scare the socks off you?  Do you picture an ominous couch and someone furrowing their brow at you and taking notes about your childhood?  That's okay.  I've been there too.

I went to my first therapist years ago when I was struggling with depression.  I have gone to non-Christian counselors, licensed Psychiatrists (yes, the ones with the Rx pads), and Christian counselors - both trained and untrained.  If you have a fear based on actually having gone to counseling before, there's a good chance that I've lived a similar experience in the past.

Yet, here I am, climbing the mountain of education to get to the other side....to become the one sitting on the chair holding the notepad, instead of the one laying in a heap of used Kleenexes on the couch (okay, seriously, not every session is like that!)

WHY? Why do I want to become a therapist?

I want to extinguish the stigma that people 

should go to therapy because they have a "problem".

Do you know ANYONE who doesn't have a problem?  Really.  Really?  No problems at all?  Let me just answer that question for you:  No.  You don't.  None of us know anyone who doesn't have a problem.  Mainly, this is because WE are exactly what is wrong with the world!  We are a fallen and selfish and sinful people - yes - all of us.

Yet, (and I'll come right out and say that the church has a long way to go on turning this tide) when we hear that someone is going to counseling or seeing a therapist, what is the first thing that pops in our mind?  Gee, I wonder what their problem is?

For the record, yes, of course when crises arise it is a good time to see someone specially trained to help that person through a particularly volatile time.  But, my point is that over the years, we've pegged this vocation as one to be "the last resort" or somewhere people turn "when nothing else has worked".

Or, we sit back and judge others for going to therapy and think things like "they just don't have enough faith" or "things must really be terrible if they can't get through this on their own".  If you've never thought these things, then I applaud you - but, if you have, then you are exactly like me...before I went to counseling.


Yes, I first went out of crisis.  But, over the years, as I've encountered a wide variety of therapists from many walks of life, I've uncovered an incredible diamond in the rough.  Therapists - the good ones, the ones that love Jesus, the ones that are vitally equipped to pass on information and wisdom - can be a crucial vessel God uses to change lives, save marriages, and restore relationships.

I can tell you this much, the most valuable sessions I've had in therapy haven't been at volatile or shaky times in my life.  It's been when I was the happiest, the most "secure" and therefore, the most motivated times of my life to step outside my comfort zone and reach for the truest, most compassionate person God has called me to be.  The simple truth is that when we feel our best, we are usually our bravest.  And that is a GREAT time to be in therapy.

In earning an education to help others better equip themselves to seek out who God wants them to be, how He wants them to best reflect His character, and why He wants them to develop skills to communicate on His behalf...I hope to help break down this stigma of "hurt people" being the only ones who need it.

We're all hurting.  We're all broken.  And we can ALL play a part in the epic story of healing that Jesus so earnestly invites us to.

*TONIGHT is my first class!  Be sure and check back tomorrow to see how it went!

Why I'm Becoming a Therapist (pt. 1)

As you may have heard by now, I'm heading back to school!  It's been a loooong time since I've been in the classroom.  Okay (ahem) almost 8 years.  It's still hard for me to believe that I'm in graduate school since only a decade ago I wasn't even ever sure I would (or could) get my Bachelor's degree, let alone a Masters.

I haven't always liked school, but I've always loved the "idea" of school.  Needless to say, I was as shocked as anyone when I genuinely started entertaining the thought of going back.  I'll be the first to admit that I attained my Bachelor's in English by the skin of my teeth.  (I truly flirted my way through Spanish III so that I fulfilled the language requirement.  Otherwise, I'd still be 3 credits and many un-conjugated-Spanish-words away from holding a degree in my hands.  Whew!)

But, the beautiful thing about graduate school (and one of the things I'm most looking forward to) is that everyone really wants to be there.  Every student there has worked hard and specifically applied to get to this time and place, and everyone is interested in the same subject matter.  Yay!  I can't wait to be meeting my fellow psychopaths (though I may withhold that particular nickname until a few weeks into school).

I'm going to get my Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy.  Yes, I will be a licensed therapist when all is said and done (that is, after many many many more hours of accumulating licensing hours even after I have my degree in hand).  So, this is a genuine commitment, and I'm in it for the long haul.

Why in the world would I want to be a therapist? 

Well, first of all, my primary reason is that I'm called to it.  No, I don't think I have what it takes to "fix others"...but, I do believe that Jesus does.  And I believe that a whole host of a never-ending education (in and outside of the classroom) will help me be able to relate this to anyone who God may place in my path.

I always thought about becoming a therapist "later on" when my kids were in school and I had life more figured out and it was "convenient" etc. etc. etc.  You get the picture.  Then, as we began talking about moving to Nashville last fall, I started to have some conversations with people I deeply respect who literally just pegged the question at me (many times, out of the blue, within about a week's time) Have you ever thought about becoming a therapist?

I actually had.  Many times.  But, I kept sweeping the idea out of the way simply because it didn't "fit"into my lifestyle at the moment. Still, when that many people pose the same question to you, it kind of makes you stop and wonder.  So, I did.  I wondered.  Then I googled.  And soon enough I found myself showing my husband websites of universities in Tennessee that offered programs that fit both our schedules and our dreams.  It was weird.  It was surprising.  It was everything I'd been waiting on.

Okay, okay (I can hear you saying) but why a therapist?  

Here's the thing about therapy.  Think about having coffee with your best friend.  They understand you, they want to be around you, they like to listen to you.  Now, imagine telling that friend anything or everything you may be feeling or worried about, or just excited about, or really anything.

You completely trust your friend...but, if you are being honest with yourself, your friend has deep opinions about your life and others around you.  Of course they do - they should - that's what friends are for.

Now, replace that best friend with an unfamiliar, yet kind face.  Someone who is approachable, will pray for and over you, and someone who you trust completely within moments of meeting them.  This person listens to you, they validate you, they are concerned with the reality of truth and your perception of it rather than how things may just appear.

They have no judgment, they are only here to help.  And, just when you feel like you are getting a little bored, they pose a perfect question or scenario to make you reconsider a new angle of looking at your life that you would not have considered otherwise.  They are the objective and safe voice that respects and considers who you are and why.

That's what a therapist has done for me in the past.  That's what a good therapist does.  (And so much more - and yet even more that I have yet to learn!)

If the idea of a therapist is uncomfortable for you - I'm going to guess that you probably have never been to a therapist before, or you've been to a really bad one.  I can say this, because I've been there, and I've been to both, and I can understand your hesitation.

Unfortunately, as in any occupation, there are some terrible, ill-equipped people doing this job.  Sure.  It happens.  Just like there are awful lawyers out there.  Just like there are smarmy mechanics.  Just like there are jaded teachers or bitter pastors.  And, if you've gone to a terrible counselor (or even know someone who has) and felt like they were master-mind manipulators out to get paid exorbitant amounts of money just to ask "How does that make you feel?" then you probably have very little respect for the occupation.

BUT - this is where I come in and give you a hug and ask you to take a second look.  I'm sorry if that's happened to you.  That was not cool.  And on behalf of what will soon be "my people" (haha) I cringe at the idea of anyone mis-using or abusing the teachings of psychology and communication to mis-lead or manipulate in any way.  That's not what a counselor should be.  And that's definitely not what Christian counseling is all about.

I'm becoming a therapist because I believe the greatest Counselor of ALL TIME was Jesus Christ.  My gifts and interests culminate at a point where I want to understand others and help them identify with Jesus and seek Him for their healing as they grow to understand how their lives (every aspect of it) can be a resourceful tool for His glory.

Jesus didn't just come down to earth, die, and leave.  He came and related to others.  He listened, He felt, He taught, and He equipped.  He granted us numerous tools (love, respect, and encouragement, just to name a few) to share among others - all of which reflect HIS characteristics.  I can only hope I can be that kind of counselor in the future to someone else.

It probably goes without saying, but another huge reason for my getting my Masters in this, is simply to enrich my writing.  As you know, I love to write about marriage and family - what it means, the honest struggles it includes, and the journey I'm taking in learning through it all.  I can't think of a better education to receive for what I know and love than to dig deeper and acquire the academic credential my heart is already on fire for.  Basically, I want the knowledge to match the passion...so, I'm getting it.

Stay tuned...tomorrow, I'm continuing this topic.  I have another HUGE reason I'm becoming a therapist that just might surprise you.