Toddlers Are Like College Students

Friday, August 17, 2012

With all the "Back to School" commercials I see on TV these days, it makes me all jittery and nervous with that excitement and nostalgia flooding my mind as I think back to my own school days.  It's been a long time since I've been in school and my own kids have a few years to go (thank goodness!) but, it still makes me tense when I see all those ads for pencils and notebooks and new Reebok Hightops with the velcro (okay, maybe there aren't commercials for those anymore, but ever since that style has had a resurgence in fashion, it makes me miss my grade school days!)

I started having flash backs of my school days through the years:  the boisterous elementary years, the awkward and torturous junior high days, the long and full-of-attitude-and-angst (thanks 90s music) hours of high school that seemed to tick by ever-so-slowly, followed by the happy-go-lucky days of college...footloose and fancy free, indeed.

Even though you know that those times were filled with impossible drama and heightened emotions, as a grown up now days, you can't help but look back with a bit of wonder and joy at your own naivet√©.  "Oh, it's funny how I thought I had actual problems back then!"   We always associate these things with adolescence...this sense of our "small planet" being all there is that just escalates and grows until we finally burst into the "real world" and have to get a job or have a baby or say vows to someone we would die for.

But, I don't think it starts in adolescence...I think it starts right after we are born!  And, the more I thought about this, the more I realized more and more how similar my two-year-old, Matilda, is to being just like those ripe-minded twenty-somethings daring to take on the world one foolish/brave notion at a time!  (Don't get me wrong, I love a dreamer - I grasp and grasp to hang on to my ideals with all I can!)  So, here, I've concluded a list for you to chuckle over; a "back to school" analogy for parenthood...

Why Toddlers Are Like College Students

  1. They think they know everything.
  2. They are sure you think you know everything, but are also very confident that you actually don't.
  3. They expect you to feed them whenever they are hungry.
  4. They have no money.
  5. They want to wear pajamas all day.
  6. It's perfectly acceptable for them to wear pajamas all day.
  7. They believe toast is a meal.
  8. They never make their bed.
  9. They expect you to do their laundry for them. 
  10. They like all cereal, but somehow it always ends up on the carpet. 
  11. They can relate to every television show they watch.
  12. No matter what you say to them, they probably disagree with you.
  13. They aren't afraid to tell you how they really feel.
  14. Their music is loud and annoying, but too catchy to ignore.
  15. You wish you could get away with wearing the shoes they wear cause they're just so cute.
  16. A backpack is a perfect accessory for any outfit.
  17. They hate reading but they hate lectures even more.
  18. They would stay up and play till the wee hours of the morning if they could.
  19. They can never get enough Disneyland.
  20. They are always overtired, but never want to go to bed.
  21. They can talk for hours and you still might not understand what they're trying to tell you.
  22. They think the world's biggest problem has something to do with bad guys that look like Ja'far.
  23. They expect and want you to tell them what to do when they really need you.
  24. They really need you when the toy they want costs more than your rent.
  25. They make headbands look cool.
  26. They believe a couch is just as good as a bed.
  27. They are only as nice as their last nap was. 
  28. A road trip always sounds fun to them until they are trapped in the car.
  29. They cry when things don't go their way.
  30. They cry when things totally go their way.
  31. It's really hard to sit through church without playing on the iPhone.
  32. They think milk goes great with every meal.
  33. They love to experiment with new hairstyles.
  34. Just because they wore the same outfit yesterday is no reason to change clothes.
  35. They remember every inappropriate thing you say. 
  36. They laugh at their own jokes, even if you don't.
  37. Friendship means you share dress-up clothes.
  38. They think libraries are basically only for social get-togethers. 
  39. They believe adventure and new discovery could take place anywhere, anytime.
  40. They expect to see every place on the planet that they want to see.
  41. Someone smiling at them can truly change their day.
  42. They want to play house but not commit to anything just yet.
  43. They want to make friends with everybody.
  44. They want to be the loudest person in the room.
  45. They can see right through people who don't believe in them.
  46. They always want a snack, even if they just had one.
  47. The floor surrounding their toilet is always disgustingly filthy.
  48. Their room can never be dark enough.
  49. They feel loved when we buy them stuff, even little stuff.
  50. When they pray, they talk to Jesus like He is sitting right in front of them. 


You gotta love em.  

Happy new school year, everybody!

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