Momming Hard: Celebrating the Single Mama

My hubby is out of town this week. He flew to Arizona to be with his folks while his dad had heart surgery (all went well, Praise the Lord) so I'm single-momming-it for the week.

This is not a big deal. I mean - it was planned, it's temporary, and I know that my husband is coming back on Friday so the chances that I actually drown in the sea of laundry that's accumulating is slim.

But, whoa man. There are mamas out there right now, doin this single-bit every day, and I am on my knees bewildered at their survival. I know some single moms that are truly ROCKING it, churning out edible lunches, kids with matching socks, and children who actually say please and thank you without prompting.

Single moms, my hat's off to you. As Mother's Day is right around the corner, I want you to know that you are seen and loved and seriously amazing the crap out of me right now.

Maybe you are widowed or divorced or separated. Maybe you're not technically "single", but you might be single-handedly ruling the roost for now. Maybe you are married but your husband is overseas or often called away on work. Whatever. You are truly momming hard.

I'm sorry that the world has shoved you under such a semi-deprecating stereotype as "single mom". As if it's any of the world's business how or why you have the jersey but no teammate in the crazy game of parenthood. I'm here to verbally hug you and say I really don't care how or why you are single, but I think we should come up with a new term altogether that embraces your amazingness at thriving partner-free. How about Super Star Mom? Momtastic Gal? Hmm. "Grand" Mother is already taken, so we'll have to keep brainstorming I guess.

Nevertheless, if you are momming hard on your own and your children are alive and well - BRAVO. I don't know how you do it.

Some of you may have not chosen this exact path for yourself. You may have had hearts broken or dreams shattered at one point in your life. There have been looks of judgement and glares of disappointment. No doubt someone has been unkind in their effort to "fix you" or been condescending in their unsolicited advice. I'm sure I've done my part in overlooking your needs or extraordinary selflessness, and for that I sincerely apologize.

I don't think you are living a "Second Best" life. There may have been bad people or bad choices or bad examples in the past that have led you to where your feet are planted today, but that doesn't mean you can't grow and flourish into something beyond your wildest dreams. God can use you exactly where you are, and He's already blessed you with children who stretch your patience and love boundlessly, giving you opportunities daily to see God's goodness. If that's not life's BEST, I don't know what is.

You are brave and beautiful. You have probably faced impossible choices and maybe no one was there to hug you or high five you when you put your children's needs above your own. You can be a living example of a loving sacrifice, and that is everything in parenthood, and God honors that. You are cared for by a God who knows your every need. You are more than enough for your children, and God has given them a whole, made-in-His-image, perfectly-chosen-for-this-position mother in YOU.

This Mother's Day, stand proud. Be that Mawesome... Shazam-a-mama....Ma-mazing, (nope, still striking out on this renaming thing) but BE THAT and know this mama is sitting back and praying for you to feel all the love and comfort and hope that you need. I hope your kiddos drench you in blessings and that the Holy Spirit fills you to the brim with peace in the assurance that you are His forever and ever.

Happy Mother's Day

National Infertility Awareness Week: How to #StartAsking and Support Family Building

I don't know what it's like to receive a diagnosis of infertility. When it took me nearly a year to conceive our first child, my fertility appointment got changed to my first prenatal visit as I found out I was pregnant after months of trying. I don't know how devastating that diagnosis can feel, so I'm not going to act like I can understand what a couple is going through as they learn that news.

Many of you are like me, in the 90% of couples who are able to conceive within a year of trying. But, apart from actually having the babies in our arms, we are exactly like the other 10% of mothers and fathers waiting to hold their precious bundles of joy. We have felt the desire to want an expression of our devotion to raise as our own. We have known the gut-wrenching love inside of us waiting to erupt into the next generation. We understand the soulful yearning that echoes beyond our own purpose into something bigger than ourselves. In this, we are united. We are parents...with babies or without.

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week, and it's a silent epidemic on relationships that many are too confused or uncomfortable to address. But, as long as we're all here on this crazy planet together, I think we need to do our best to raise awareness and support for those couples who are holding up love and patience in the wings. If it takes a village to raise a child, then the village helps now and not just after the pregnancy test turns pink.

You probably know someone who has had trouble conceiving or sustaining a pregnancy. Most of us know stories of miraculous conceptions, incredible adoptions, or IVF success. When we know a couple is trying, it can be awkward and difficult to know what to say or how to help. But, many times, we don't know the intimate details of a couple's struggle. Often, as the topic is sensitive and unique for each couple, we simply don't know who may be walking through this tender and challenging season.

RESOLVE.ORG is the website for the National Infertility Association and they've started a campaign to help #StartAsking how to support couples dealing with infertility. There is a myriad of resources and information on the website for couples, family, and friends who want to help with this issue.

Not sure where to start? 

Here's a great List of 25 Things To Say (And Not To Say) To Someone Living With Infertility

You can also learn about Fertility Facts here or Reproductive Facts so that you can educate yourself and build the support you or your friends need through this journey.

While I may not personally know the journey of infertility, it's a topic I study a lot in my research for helping couples and families. I fill in the gaps of my experience with facts and testimonies that help me gain understanding. And I try to empathize as much as possible, using other experiences I've had that remind me what it's like to have dreams crushed or hopes unraveled.

The feeling of disappointment is universal, so you have something to offer to this community even if infertility hasn't been part of your personal narrative. 

Building awesome families is close to my heart, and my own little brood was loved long before I held them in my arms. If you're reading this, you probably relate!

Pray for those couples still waiting in the wings, be sensitive and compassionate, and do what you can to learn more. You never know who God will place in your path that might become part of the incredible village that is raising our next generation.

For those waiting to hold babies... I love you. I might not know who you are, but your patience and strength are incomprehensible. I hope with you. I pray with you. I believe that God has placed a calling on you in this time and season for a purpose greater than anything we can know or feel right now. And I have faith in the Heavenly Father that the beyond-yourself-love that you possess will not go unused. I lay your desires at His feet and I wait with you.

Psalm 130:5 NIV
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

UPDATE: Below is a helpful info-graphic made by the team at OvulationCalculator.com who offered it to me to share with you! Check out their website for more helpful tips about #NAIW and how to #StartAsking.

Cry It Out: What My Sleepless Baby Taught Me About Prayer

Last night, we let baby Vivian "cry it out" a couple times in the night. Before you applaud or criticize, let me tell you that my philosophy for sleep training primarily centers around the idea that everyone in the house should simply take "the shortest route to rest". 

Sometimes this means nursing her for five minutes to get her back to sleep. Sometimes this means jumping up at her first cry to silence her before my other two daughters wake up. Sometimes this means turning up the whitenoise in everyone's room so we can hunker down into hibernation mode. If you've ever raised a zombie-baby (and this is my third) then, you can understand!

Vivi has been waking up every two hours on the dot for the last several weeks. At times this has fluctuated (as often as every hour, but only as long as 4 hours max) so yes, all that to say, I am quite exhausted. She's almost 8 months old, so the time of her "needing" food in the night has passed, but that doesn't stop her from needing me! I don't mind spoiling a baby, but when it comes to seeing her yawn and rub her eyes throughout the day because her own rest has been compromised, something's gotta give.

Besides, when I say "cry it out" what I really mean is "yell it out". This baby isn't sad, she is just AWAKE! She will shout from her crib and blab nonstop until she either crashes back to sleep or someone comes and sees what all the squawking is about. So, through all the "MAMAs" and the "DADADADAs" last night, I found myself praying and praying that she would find peace and comfort in our absence.

Honestly, I wanted to yell through the door back at her, "YOU'RE OKAY! YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED! WHAT YOU REALLY NEED IS SLEEEEEEP!" But, of course that wouldn't have done any good. She was fully convinced she needed me, whether for entertainment, comfort, or milk, she wanted to be snuggled up in my arms. While my mama heart was aching to give her all she desired, I knew that her needs were best met in what she could not see. The girl needed sleep, and if I had gone in to help her, I would have only stimulated her more which would have set us all back.

It was around 3am when it occurred to me how often I do this to God in my own prayer life. I shout my demands, telling God what I think I need help with, ordering my blessings like I'm reading a fast-food menu! Too often I am distracted by what I see (or want to see) that I totally forget the fact that God is working behind the scenes on behalf of my own good, to provide what I truly need. I'm bratty and short-sighted, while God is thumping me over the head with His Word and shouting "YOU'RE OKAY! YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED RIGHT HERE! TRUST ME!"

Well, God is much more merciful than that, thank goodness! He covers me in grace and I'm once again reminded at how many gaps there are in my prayers. I'm so grateful He fills in the blanks for us and has already set in place the provision for what will bring Him the most glory. I'm reminded how Oh yeah, duh my prayers are actually not a checklist for things I want, but rather a sacred communication and form of worship that connects me directly to my Creator.

Sometimes I cry it out. Sometimes I yell it out. Sometimes it feels like God is silent and nothing is happening and I'm stuck. And somehow my needs are met, all the same. God has already provided what I need, regardless of what I think I need. I just need to trust in Him. Wow, thank you Lord!

Now, when I hear that yelling baby in the night, I will try to focus on the presence of peace that will follow. I listen closely for the hush that follows the cries, for the calm that settles in after the confusion has faded. When that happy, well-rested baby wakes up in the morning, I am grateful that the temporary cries brought about much longer-lasting peace.

Psalm 66:19-20
But God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me! 

Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Little Women: 5 Myths About Raising Strong Girls

Today is International Women's Day! As a mother of three girls, it's important to me to acknowledge days like today, taking a time out to pass on some gratitude for strong women who have forged the path ahead of us and helped paved the way for a more equal future for my daughters.

A lot of my friends, family and readers tend to cringe at the word "Feminism" thinking it is reserved for those with picket signs, narrow agendas, or just those conspiring to rid the world of bras. As a Jesus follower and a Feminist, I'm not interested in any of those things. I'm a strong-willed woman with a passion for knowing and loving Jesus and striving to raise my girls to seek their identity in Christ and know their value full well - equally, uniquely, beautifully. Celebrating women is a great way to encourage this!

There are a lot of moms out there who struggle with this concept, and I invite you to continue struggling! Wrestling with questions and doubts is what makes us seek change and it motivates us to keep learning and praying. I hope that we can encourage one another as mothers to raise our children up in a world that respects differences and welcomes the opportunity to involve the strengths of others.

Here are 5 common myths that many mamas deal with when it comes to raising strong girls, I hope my words offer you a good hug and a high five if you are in the midst of it just like I am!

5 Myths About Raising Strong Girls

1. She needs to be good at things "boys do".
False. The world wants us to believe that particular strengths are gender-based. So maybe your daughter is good at sports, and maybe she's not. Maybe your girl is great at baking cookies, and maybe she hates to help in the kitchen. Not everything is a competition, and your daughter is simply going to have preferences all her own as an individual. While we have hurdles to conquer in getting more girls involved in things like science, engineering, and math, the voice of a strong woman should make a mark in all facets of society.  So, help her grow wherever she plants her feet! Simply ASKING what she likes and why she likes it is a beautiful way to encourage your girl towards discovering her unique gifts and allowing her to use them wherever the road leads.

2. She can't see me as a role model if I'm a stay-at-home mom.
False. If you are home in this season, congratulations. You've chosen an admirable profession for the time being, and it's most likely not forever. Thrive where you are, and use your time and presence with wisdom and gratitude. You are wearing MANY hats right now and have the opportunity to showcase what feminism truly is: freedom to choose what is best for you. If, on the other hand, you are working outside the home in any capacity - you also bear this responsibility. You are no less a mother just as you are no less a woman because of what you do. Share with your daughters why it is important to you to be doing whatever you are doing! Teach her that each person has something worthwhile to contribute and work for.

3. She'll believe she can really be anything she wants.
False. Some parents have this fear that raising a strong girl will give her a skewed view that she's fantastic at everything or deserving of more than the world can actually offer. This belief falls somewhere between believing all women are naive and all women are spoiled - neither of which are accurate. More girls struggle with knowing their true value than from being too vain. If you think you shouldn't nurture your daughter's worth because you're worried about her being too full of herself - stop worrying. For most, the world will take us all down a notch or two when we least expect it. As her parent, limiting your daughter ahead of time only hinders natural progress. Faulting on the side of support, on the other hand, will show her you are there for her whether she succeeds or not.

4. She'll become a bitch.
False. Sorry for the language, but of course you worry about this. Yes, someone in her life will call her that, guaranteed. But, if it's because she is speaking truth, choosing love, or showing kindness, she will be the kind of woman who can withstand the taunt. If you are worried that helping her stand up for equality will turn her into a harsh, snarky, pantsuit-wearing, she-devil then you have probably just watched too many movies from the nineties and you have bought into a stereotype. "Career-minded" is actually not a social death sentence for many successful women, and the world only benefits when women make strides in leadership. A strong girl needs to see equal examples of integrity, respect, and humility from men and women in leading positions. When that's done well she will know that kindness can truly drive action.

5. She'll believe she won't need a man and not get married.
False. Is your goal for your daughter to simply marry her off? I doubt it. If raising a girl with a smart head, a kind heart, and a loving spirit is too intimidating for a particular gent, then by all means let him keep walking. While I pray for the potential sons-in-law I may embrace someday, I know that a husband is not a requirement for what's best for my girls. Every characteristic I possess as a wife I hold on my own as a person first. The fact that I'm married simply allows me to express those same qualities in a way that's unique to my spouse. Marriage is not a safety net to co-parent your daughter in her later years. Remember this when you are playing dress-up or dolls and watching Disney movies. Relationships of all kinds benefit and grow us in extraordinary ways. Your daughter will not be "lesser than" if she doesn't find a spouse and let you plan the wedding of her dreams (which she probably won't let you do anyway, so just let that go!) Help equip her for success regardless of what's in store - teach your daughter about finances, safety, vehicle basics, and household repair tasks, allowing her to thrive beyond gender role constraints. As she develops her worldview, she'll be able to look beyond the complements of a partner, seeking out traits like honesty, integrity, trust, and respect that matter in all relationships.

We don't live in an easy world, but women from every walk of life bring beauty and strength to the diversity around us. A woman's voice benefits everyone - so don't be afraid to use yours! When we speak the truth in love, we break down barriers far greater than gender inequality.

Happy International Women's Day - and many blessings to you and the strong girls in your life!

Calling All Parents!

Are we ready to start a family?

This is the question many couples ask when they come to the crossroads of entering parenthood. If you are already a parent, then you know it's daunting to step through the threshold of having a baby.

In a new survey I've constructed, I'm evaluating that very topic: How prepared did you feel when you became a parent? I'm gearing up for a new project regarding parenthood preparedness, and I NEED YOUR HELP!

TAKE THE SURVEY!

I'll be keeping the survey open for several weeks, so please feel free to SHARE the link with your friends, neighbors, co-workers, family, that nice gal from Bible Study and so on... The more the merrier!

Your answers help me understand your unique experience through conception, pregnancy, and the first year after your baby was born.  It's anonymous, there's no "right" answer, and it only takes a couple minutes to complete.  Best of all, your input will contribute to helping couples in the future as they approach this sacred life stage for themselves!

Please encourage all parents you know to TAKE THE SURVEY and give their much needed input! You can even take the survey on your mobile device (woohoo for multitaskers!)

Thank you in advance - and be sure to keep your eye on the blog for future updates about this!

Y is for Yawn: The Mom Alphabet

I've got one in Kindergarten and another headed there next fall, so the alphabet is a popular topic in our household these days. Every day we are spelling new words, learning sounds, and practicing writing those tricky curves and bumps that make up the language we love.

I love it...but it can get wearing.

So, this one's for the moms of alphabet-learners out there! Next time you are up to your neck in vowel sounds, crossing t's and dotting i's, maybe you can think of this and get that smile back on your face.

Hugs!

The Mom Alphabet

A is for Appetite, as I eat your leftover goldfish crackers for breakfast.
B is for Backwash that you leave in my water bottle after only ONE SIP.
C is for Crumbs that I vacuum up in your bed, car seat, and anywhere you've ever been.
D is for Drool that pools on your pillowcase when you finally crash for a nap.
E is for Evite for the birthday parties you get invited to nearly every weekend.
F is for Free, which you know how to spell because they are the only apps you're allowed to buy.
G is for Grocery cart that you won't sit in until it's too full of food to have room for you.
H is for Hamburger Helper which is way more work than the box makes it sound like.
I is for Instagram that lets me  filter out how tired mommy really is.
J is for Juice, which you want more of as soon as I sit down.
K is for Kale, and kale is for suckers.
L is for Laundry that never ever ever ever ends.
M is for McDonald's play land when it's winter and mommy gives up.
N is for Netflix. Enough said.
O is for Oh no, when it gets too quiet around here and I know something is up.
P is for Popcorn, which I will be vacuuming up from under our couches for the next decade.
Q is for Quarter, that I don't have for that video game over there and never will so stop asking.
R is for Reheating my coffee again and again and again.
S is for Sweaty head when you wake up from your nap and I could just eat you up.
T is for Timehop that makes me swoon and sob inside my heart each day.
U is for Uh-oh, which is never good to hear from the other room.
V is for Vacuuming. Again.
W is for What did I forget to buy at the store/put in your backpack/mark on the calendar today?
X is for eXactly how many times do I need to ask you to find your [ anything ] before we can leave?
Y is for Yawn as I tuck you in for the millionth time.
Z is for Zzzz as I fall asleep watching Downton Abbey way past my bedtime.

Ain't No One Got Time For That: True Self-Care For Mamas

I'm really good at chatting about self-care. I have my Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy, after all. I have three children and put on deodorant today, for heaven's sake. I have a marriage that still makes me smile and remembered to schedule my six-month dentist check-up only 10 months after the last one! I mean, I'm seriously good at this self-care business, right?

If you're like me, you are great at telling others how to take better care of themselves, but slipping slowly down the sub-par slope yourself. Cringing yet?

As mothers, we deal daily in the chores of sympathy, compassion, care, and inevitably spread ourselves too thin across the needs of our family, all in the name of love. This is wonderful. This is often necessary. But, this is not sustainable. 

Yesterday, I joined a Bible Study that "I don't have time for", "It's just far enough away to be too far", "I don't even know if anyone I know will be there", "I'm not even sure what they are studying", and "I'm not sure I want to commit or feel obligated to keep going".

Sound familiar?

I can easily think of a million reasons not to go. I have plenty of dishes/laundry/cooking that I could fill that time-slot with. I didn't even want to tell anyone I was considering going in case I backed out at the last minute.

Then I remembered that in the last two years, God brought me through the absolute busiest time of my life. With two children, I got through grad school, held a part-time job, and had a book published, and somehow managed to not completely have my brain melt.

God was faithful, and while I have no desire to relive that kind of manic schedule, I know that He provides what I need when I need it - including time (and especially time to worship Him)!

I often forget that true self-care starts from the inside out. Soul care doesn't just happen on its own. 

I don't just feel joyful because of the "stuff" I have or the blessings around me. I don't just automatically desire to read the Bible every day because it's the "right thing to do". I don't constantly thank Jesus for saving me simply because I should. AND I SHOULD...but, reality holds obligations, deadlines, crying babies, phone calls, and dentist appointments that I allow to get in the way.

It's easy to think that something so basic as taking care of ourselves should come naturally. But, I'm here to tell you that it's OKAY to schedule it in. Do it!

You don't have to join a Bible Study. That's not necessarily the answer for you in the season you are in. But, how are you taking care of yourself? Wine nights with girlfriends and the occasional mani/pedi might be what most mommy blogs are urging you to do - but I'm here to ask, What are you doing to pamper your soul?

I'm learning how to do this right alongside you, mamas. I am thick in the struggle of balancing all the spinning plates while riding a unicycle, just like you are. I pray every day that I will appreciate this season, even through the groggy fog of sleep deprivation and the sounds of whiney children and the reheated cups of coffee.  It's hard.

But, let's remember who is truly spinning all those plates. It's not us. It's certainly not by my strength that my children get hugged and disciplined all in the same day. It's not by my faithfulness that food is on the table or the unfolded laundry keeps us warm day to day.

Give yourself the time-out that a mama sincerely deserves, and let us encourage one another to focus on the One from whom all blessings flow. We all got time for that.

If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. - Jeremiah 29:13 NLT 

 

Ten Resolutions for Normal Mothers (That Have Nothing To Do With Kids)

Happy New Year! It's 2016 - the year we're all going to be healthier, calmer, and happier. Right? [Insert fear and loathing here.]

As a mother of three, every night feels like New Year's Eve to me. When my kids are finally in bed and the house gets eerily quiet, it's all I can do to fend off the mommy guilt and combat my insecurities of the day. And as the thoughts of would've-should've-could'ves come trickling in, I commit to doing better the next day.

Tomorrow I won't yell at her when she can't find her other shoe and we're ten minutes late. Tomorrow I'll have supper ready at a normal hour and it will include a vegetable. Tomorrow I'll wake up earlier and take a shower before the kids wake up. Tomorrow I'll fold that pile of laundry that's taking up the entire couch. 

This is a wearing cycle. Do you relate?

Not every day is New Year's Day. I can't keep starting over like this. Who's with me?

I need practical solutions I can conquer throughout the day so I can look back in the evening with a feeling of triumph and not disdain. I want goals that are not only attainable, but progressive and have lasting impact.

So, I've come up with Ten Resolutions for NORMAL Mothers that will help keep you focused on the true priorities that offer your kids an example rather than a new set of rules. You can do these as often or as little as you like - but, when you are feeling bogged down that "nothing got done today", try one out and feel a sense of accomplishment instead!

Here we go!

1. Thank Jesus out loud. 
It's awkward and cheesy, but nothing stops complaining like saying "Thank you Jesus for this house that keeps us warm!" in front of your children. Maybe they will even join in.

2. Hold your spouse's hand. 
At dinner. On the couch. In the car. It doesn't really matter where or for how long. But if each of you has one hand free at the same time (i.e. the planets are aligned just right) then go for it.

3. Cereal for dinner.
If it's good enough to start the day, it's good enough to end with. Your kids will thank you. Your husband will survive. Just make it a thing and when the pantry is low and your guilt starts to creep up surprise everyone with bowls on the table that night. Voila.

4. Like stuff.
What do you like? I like coffee and I like cardigans and I like red lipstick even though I don't really wear it since I smooch my baby a lot and don't want her covered in splotches. There, was that so hard? When you feel worried about irrational things or have negative thoughts, start naming things you like and get to know why you like the stuff you like. It's amazing how much time can pass without someone asking you what you like - so ask yourself!

5. Get hooked on a TV show.
Congratulations! Chances are good you've already conquered this one. Keep at it. I know this sounds crazy, but in this chaotic phase of life with diaper blow-outs and Kindergarten politics, I need some seriously out-there fictional drama to look forward to now and then. It's okay to escape. It's okay to be entertained. And if you can't add this to your list of resolutions that you accomplish this year, I'm not sure we can be friends. Just sayin.

6. Wash your face, breathe, repeat.
You have time for this. It feels great. You need to do it. I know it feels silly to say these things, but when you are packing lunches and wiping little bottoms all day, even the most basic self-care can get tossed to the side when all you want to do is sleep. But, I have found that washing my face even in the middle of the day or to kickstart the morning or just before bed (so, anytime ever really) is more than cleansing for the pores, it just makes me calmer. It's a reset button that's just one washcloth away. You can do it.

7. Put shoes on.
I don't know if there's any research on this, but I get at least twice as much done in a day if I'm wearing shoes. It feels like I have somewhere to go, something to do, some place to be.  And I do! Even if it is, right here, sitting, folding laundry for my family.

8. Drink a glass of water.
I don't know anybody who drinks enough water. If the whole day is shot - then drink a glass of water and pat yourself on the back. Your body with thank you and it forces you to slow down for at least that moment. Bonus points if you say a prayer of gratitude for having clean water to drink while doing it!

9. Read a verse. 
Just one. Any book of the Bible. Any chapter. Yes, it would be lovely to sit down for an hour and sip coffee while getting out a Beth Moore study or highlighting a series of topics throughout the Word. There are days for that, and I hope they are many. But, some days your Bible gathers dust and you can't seem to recall if Hosea was in the Old Testament or the New Testament and you just need a hug. YOU ARE A NORMAL, CHRISTIAN MOTHER. And just one verse can travel to your core and give you peace that surpasses your understanding. On the days you just can't get any quiet time - google a verse and read it. You have time for that.

10. Smile in the mirror.
Be a dork. Just do it. Enjoy your face and try to see what everyone else gets to see the rest of the day. Even if your hair is a mess and you have spinach in your teeth (and by spinach I mean Oreos, of course) you look better with a smile. The action itself releases endorphins in your brain to trigger happy chemicals that can help you stay calm when you find your toddler coloring on the wall in the next room. Smile at yourself - it makes it a lot easier to smile at everyone else too.

This may not be the year you get out of debt or lose 30 pounds or cook every meal from scratch. Maybe you've already blown your resolutions and are frustrated with your willpower. It's going to be okay. You're in good company.

My kids don't need a thinner, perfectly organized, robot-mother. They need me. And I didn't decide that - God did! So, the best thing I can offer them in the new year is an honest human who's depending on Jesus openly. The other stuff will get done as needed...it always does.

This year I'm trying to focus less on what I'm doing and more on what I'm learning. I'm trying to stay honest with myself and keep my priorities centered more around the things that last forever (Jesus, relationships, gratitude) and allow myself the freedom to let go of the things that are temporary (dirty dishes, crumbs in the bunk bed).

Tonight, as I inevitably fold the clothes I'm neglecting in my dryer right now, I'm going to choose to thank Jesus out loud for the opportunity to live today and enjoy the little faces I get to hug on and kiss goodnight. And, instead of saying "I'll do better tomorrow", I'm going to rest in the assurance that today had plenty of purpose all its own.

Big Love for Wee Sprout: Nature's Little Squeeze Reusable Food Pouches

Sometimes I stumble across a product I love so much, that I track down the manufacturer and let them know I would hug them in person if I could.  Wee Sprout is one of those companies!

Wee Sprout makes REFILLABLE food pouches and
YOU can save 15%
by using code: PARDYMAMA

I never get paid to endorse any products that I mention on my blog, so you can rest assured that this mama is giving you honest feedback on items I truly use and love.

Do you have a picky eater in your family?

My daughter, Daphne, would live on cereal and spaghetti if I let her. It's like pulling teeth from a fish to get her to take a bite of veggies or fruit.  BUT, she loves those Go-go Fruit pouches!? I was paying way too much for them in the store, trying my best to find coupons or buy in bulk when it suddenly struck me, There must be a better way!

There is! Wee Sprout makes three different sizes of food pouches that are dishwasher safe, freezable, and totally reusable. You can fill it with smoothie, pudding, applesauce, or any one of your own concoctions so you can sneak-some-healthy into your kiddo's day!

SAVE 15% with code PARDYMAMA

As you can see - Daphne's a fan! I love to blend up some bananas with a couple tablespoons of apple juice and freeze them for her lunches. By the time it thaws out, she has a yummy banana smoothie ready to slurp down. (Just be sure to let the preschool teacher know not to throw it away after lunchtime!)

I rinse mine out with warm, soapy water, then toss it in the top rack of my dishwasher for a thorough cleaning. They are super durable, easy to use, and saves me a TON of money too!

Additionally, Wee Sprout is a family owned company right here in Tennessee! I was thrilled to contact the owner and let her know how much I loved the product, and I feel great supporting small business that promotes healthy living for kids and clearly keeps real life, busy mamas in mind when designing their products.

These little squeezes would make GREAT stocking stuffers for kids, wonderful baby shower presents, or an awesome gift for the mom-friend you love to play-date with!

SAVE 15% with code PARDYMAMA

Squeeze your little ones and buy them Nature's Little Squeeze today! You can know you are supporting small business and healthy living too!

Fearfully Made: How Do I Live With Fear?

Motherhood comes with many things.  Love, awe, gratitude, patience, and selflessness.  These are the wonderful things I've grown in (sometimes begrudgingly) since I first set eyes on my own offspring.

But, something else that comes with motherhood is worry...and lots of it.  As my children grow, so do my fears.

It starts off small, checking on them while they are napping to make sure they're breathing; knowing where my phone and the nearest ice pack is at all times as they learn to climb; praying for them at school as they start to develop beyond my grasp.  And on and on.  Many of these things seem within my control, many of these worries are calmed by the illusion that I have the power to prevent them if I plan enough, work hard, and pay enough attention to detail.

Then I get on Facebook, or Instagram, or watch the news at all.  Turns out just about anything can kill us at any time.  I've seen reports about the dangers of flip flops for heaven's sake!  Articles about how babies get injured from this or that seem to inundate my newsfeed at all times.  Child abductions and horrible diseases become part of my regular checklist in praying for protection for my family.

And I am afraid.

Are these fears reality?  Am I crazy to be anxious about every little thing?  Is it okay to NOT worry about something, or does that make me an uncaring mother???

We can work ourselves up to the point of worrying about worrying and suddenly all the mothers I know are flooded with more anxiety than a chihuahua on Redbull!  WHAT GIVES?!

I can't take it anymore.  I am tired of being afraid.  I am over letting my joy be stolen by worry for things I do not have control over.  I am done with feeling the burden of fear when it is not mine to carry.

Psalm 139:14 (NIV) 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

The word "fearfully" here does NOT mean that I live in fear of the world around me.  The word actually reflects fear in the sense of respect and reverence (i.e. "fear of the Lord") and a healthy acknowledgement of HIS sovereignty.  We were made to hand over our fears to God - in full acceptance that His works are wonderful and we revere His divine wisdom to act in His perfect will.  

1 John 4:18 reminds us that "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."so I can rest in God's perfect love for me, reflect that in my life through faith and action, and rid myself of the fears in this world.

We can't worry about everything.  We just can't.  (Trust me, I've tried.)  It's exhausting and impossible and futile.  But, we worship a God who has no need for worry.  Not only can He take on all our cares and concerns, but He extinguishes them and can help us steer clear of them in the future.

My big secret to driving out fear?  Focus on His perfect love.  

When I feel the lies creeping up on me (you know the ones:  You're not good enough.  You're ruining your children. You don't deserve this.) I take a deep breath and pray to the God who made me to hand Him my insecurities.  

When I feel the worries crashing down on me (all the what ifs! What if there's a shooter at school?  What if it's not just the chicken pox? What if, what if, what if...) I read the Scripture or sing a worship song and refocus my thoughts to truths that are steadfast regardless of what the day holds.

We live in a fearful world that's ready to amplify our worries if we let it.  But we serve a God who created the universe, and nothing is too major for Him.  

Yes, there are terrible tragedies that many of us will encounter in this life.  It sucks.  I hate it.  I do not belittle pain or grief or turmoil that we each experience.  But, my hope is that we can encourage one another to not let those fears control our minds, hearts, spirits, or actions.  

So, when you see that fear pop up in your newsfeed today - stop it in its tracks!  Text someone an encouraging word.  Hug your kid.  Kiss your husband.  High five a friend.  Take a deep breath and drive out that fear with the perfect love God has for you right now in this time and place.  

And take joy in the thought that you are wonderfully made. 

 

Heaven Sent: Why I Love Earth Mama Angel Baby

I recently wrote a post all about breastfeeding, where I mentioned how much I love Earth Mama Angel Baby's Natural Nipple Butter.  Since then, I've gotten to try out some more of their products and mamas, let me tell you - this stuff is heaven sent!

It's rare for me to blatantly endorse products, I save my soapbox for only things I truly love.  So, while this is only my opinion, I hope you take my review here as an honest mama's thumbs up for the following products! (I don't sell these or make any money off of this, I promise!)

I'll even send a FREE SAMPLE and $1-Off coupon
to the first 5 people who EMAIL ME,
subject line: HEAVEN SENT!

Natural Nipple Butter: This stuff is awesome - as I've already told you how it is fantastic to prevent cracked, sore nipples when breastfeeding.  But, did you know it could also be used for chapped lips, backup diaper cream, drool rash, or even as breast pump lube?  Woohoo!  I'm all for the multi-purposing of this product, and I love that it is safe for mom and baby.  Be one of the first five people to email me and you'll get a free sample!

Organic Milkmaid Tea:  Fall is here and winter is on the way - warm up your insides with this yummy tea and help your milk production at the same time!  If you are a tea lover, you'll love this.  The fennel seed gives it a slightly licorice-y flavor, which I personally like, and it would probably make a good iced tea as well if that's your preference.  While I don't exclusively use organic products, it's wonderful to know this tea is super safe for my milk production.  This sweet sipper is USDA Certified 100% Organic, Non-GMO Project Verified and Certified Kosher. I like to sip it in the morning and afternoon...and maybe with a cookie or two (shh, don't tell.)

Booby Tubes: Got ouchie tatas? You mamas gotta try these!  At first I was a bit skeptical how something gel-free could be comforting, but once I stuck these puppies in the freezer and used them after a feeding - ahhh, serious relief!  What I love most about them is that they can be used either cold (to reduce swelling or tenderness) OR hot (to promote let-down and milk flow and also prevent clogged ducts)! Again safe for mama and baby, they are natural and made with a 100% organic cotton shell and filled with all-natural flax seed.

A Little Something for Baby: My FAVORITE by far! Mamas, if you don't get this at a baby shower - buy it yourself!  This little kit is perfect to welcome a new little one into the world.  I've used mine on baby Vivian and I'm excited to take it with us over the holidays while we travel (the products are perfect for on-the-go!)  The bath products have a delicious, vanilla-orange scent that will make you want to nibble your baby all the more.  Vivi was calm and relaxed as I bathed her and lotioned her and I was thrilled to see her diaper rash disappear after a few uses of the bottom balm.  I also used the baby oil on a couple spots she developed cradle cap and it made it much easier to remove.  This kit is perfect for a gift too, so I'm thinking Santa might be putting another one in baby Viv's stocking this year!

Let me know if you have any questions about these products!  I don't sell them at all - but I'll give you my honest opinion!  You can find all these and more on the Earth Mama Angel Baby website and almost anywhere that sells baby products. Be sure to email me for a coupon!

Five Reasons To Have A Birth Plan

Let me start off by saying (and meaning) this:  There's no wrong way to have a baby.

Photo from Daphne's birth by Mathieu Photography

My goal for giving birth has always been "walk away with a healthy baby that's mine".  If that's how my story ended, I knew I would be grateful and satisfied.  This didn't mean that everything would go how I wanted it to go, and it certainly didn't mean the baby would be delivered according to my plan (or anyone else's for that matter).

So, why have a birth plan?

Before my first baby was born, I over-educated myself into the illusion of security, learning as much as possible about nearly every birth-scenario so I could spare myself any surprises day-of.  But, babies don't read your plans or your minds, and when the time comes there is bound to be surprises whether you have prepared at all or not!

My first two daughters were spontaneous labors that went on for hours and hours drug-free, followed by an epidural, and ending in a c-section.  My third daughter's birth was a planned c-section, and while everything went according to schedule, I was glad to have thought through the day ahead of time.

Why spend all the energy and time thinking you are a hippie-mama going drug-free only to find out when push comes to shove (literally) that you turn out to be an epidural-getting drama queen?  Why sort through calming verses and meditations for soothing your anxiety and pain when you know you'll have an IV drip and get a c-section?

Here's why:

1. A Birth Plan helps YOU know what you want.  

You might not even know what your expectations are until you start to jot them down on paper.  You may have a vision (haphazard as it may be) for what the day looks like and still not realize that you have joy or disappointment hinging on small things like "wearing my favorite chapstick" when you are at the peak of a contraction.  A birth plan can help you sort through what's reasonable (dim lights) and what's preposterous (a tranquil haven that stays a perfect 70 degrees and silent with only the glow of a lavender scented candle to warm the setting).  It can help you weed through your ideals (drug free and natural) as well as your limitations and tolerance for what's acceptable (get.baby.out.)  Bottomline, you can't expect others to know what you'll need in your best/worst hour when you haven't taken the time to think through it yourself.

2. A Birth Plan helps OTHERS know what you want.

Even your beloved husband is scratching his head as to how he can best help you in your moment of dire need.  If you don't know by now that your husband can't read your mind, then I really hate to break it to you that your doctors and nurses can't either.  Even if you are planning a home birth with a doula or midwife, they are going to have questions about your comfort and pain management along the way.  If you are having a scheduled c-section, you'll still need to convey your opinions adamantly regarding things like cord cutting, skin-to-skin, and pain killer options.  Maybe you know what you want and you can easily inform those around you with the command of a drill sergeant.  But, for those of us not giving birth to robots, it will make it much easier in the long run if you have talked through your expectations ahead of time and how you prioritize those ideas.

3. A Birth Plan helps BABY remain the focus.

This seems counterintuitive.  How can a paper all about your expectations help keep the focus on your newborn?  Because the less everyone has to worry about wondering what you want and need, the more they can channel their skills and energy to that screaming creature who just entered into the universe.  If you can include choices about the baby on your birth plan as well, you can put your mind at ease knowing your birth plan can be easily referenced for your choices instead of trying to remember in the middle of it all if you chose salve-on-the-eyes for the baby or whether you wanted to postpone the Vitamin K shot.  A LOT happens just minutes after the birth, and you don't want the burden of "having to think" placed on your or your husband's brain.  Free it up so you can fully embrace the bliss of staring at that new little bundle of joy you just brought into the world.

4.  A Birth Plan helps HUSBANDS understand.

Sure, hubbies are included in #2.  But, more than just understanding your expectations, husbands have been (most likely) taking a crash course in all-things-baby since you announced the pregnancy.  Birth is SCARY - and that's totally normal.  It's a terrifying roller coaster of emotion to usher another human into the world, and your brain isn't meant to fully comprehend sentences like "What do you want to do with the placenta?" when you are just barely grasping the fact you took part in the creation of life.  A birth plan can help a husband truly take part in the process of labor and delivery, knowing how best his time and energy is spent in the midst of the wild ride.

5.  A Birth Plan helps MOTHERS in the future.

This blog is a perfect example!  Here I am, dishing about my own experiences, hoping to reach an audience of new mamas understand that their birth stories are important - no matter how the scenario plays out.  It's an opportunity to get to know why we think what we think about birth, share it with others, and help them understand their own journey.  Looking back across my three birth stories, I can compare them to the plans I had anticipated and grow from the story that ultimately came out of it.  It rarely goes how we think it will, right?  But, healing from disrupted plans can help us curb disappointments and turn them into lessons of hope for others.

When you are about to have a baby, it's easy to feel like the only person on the planet that's ever felt that way.  The more we can hold our expectations in our hands and learn to understand them, the easier it can be to let them go if the need arises.  After all, learning to adjust and adapt to the unpredictable will serve you well once that baby arrives (however that may be)!

Guest Blog: My First Mom-Friend by Rachel Oliver

Today's post is brought to you by my friend, Rachel.  Check her work in her profile links below!

For the first year of motherhood, I worked part-time. My life was very much immersed in being mom, wife and employee, and I found a great deal of personal satisfaction and even community from my days spent in the office.

Then I left the workforce to stay home full-time, and my life became very isolated.

I had imagined all the fun things my daughter and I would do once I was home full-time, but the reality of her age and our newly-shrunk budget left me home and bored all too often.

Thanks to Netflix and naptime, I caught up on all my favorite television shows and quickly began looking for more. I cried through Army Wives, and found myself becoming jealous of the women depicted with close friends who lived right next door. All of my friends worked or lived 30+ minutes away, making daily or even weekly gatherings a challenge.

That’s when Liz moved in two doors down. With fiery red hair and an outgoing personality, not to mention the fact that she didn’t know another living soul in Denver, we became fast friends.

Our daughters are 10 months apart in age and, while we found activities that they might like, we really enjoyed finding excursions that gave us opportunity to grow our friendship.  We spent time at the indoor mall play area during the cold winter months, would go for early morning stroller walks as the weather warmed, not to mention just popping over for a quick chat or to borrow a  serving of applesauce.

Just shy of a year after moving in, Liz and her family packed up and moved away. Okay, only 20 miles away and we still see each other at least weekly.

But what I learned from the first friend I made as a mom with a mom, was huge.

I learned to step out of my comfort zone. I may have been lonely as a stay-at-home mom but it wasn’t enough to compel me to try new things until Liz came along and invited me to go and do. And even then, sometimes I just wanted to stay home in my PJs; and sometimes that’s just what I did. But when I let go of my reservations, I found that spending time with a friend was refreshing to my soul (not to mention how much better my attitude became).

I learned that to best help my daughter become a good friend, I needed to model healthy friendships to her. My daughter may have only been a year old when Liz and I first met, but the habits I am forming now, including and especially in regards to friendship, will speak to my future relationships and in turn, to hers.

I learned to offer grace to other moms – and to myself. Mom friendships are beautiful and unique, a special type of comradery. They also include distinct challenges: sick kids, meltdowns, and blowouts affect schedules while time together is full of interruptions and the distractions of a wayward toddler. That’s also why they work; moms get other moms.

I learned that mom-friendships are worth getting out of PJs for. Whether I have to walk next door or drive 30 minutes away, friendships with other moms are worth pursuing and being available for.

I’ve been blessed to have many friends over the course of my life: childhood friends, college friends, work friends. Adding mom friends has been a special blessing. By offering grace to each and grace to ourselves, mom-friendships have helped me through life’s good things and hard things, and have made me a better mom, better woman and a better friend.

So what about you – where do you find mom friends?

I'm Rachel. 

Mom to one, trying for two, stuck with a couple crazy dogs and loved by a fabulous guy. I'm a stay-at-home-but-rarely-home mom with a knack for saying "yes" too quickly, especially when it comes to outside commitments and Diet Mountain Dew. 

I blog at rachel+reagan. 

Follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

Meet Vivian Margot Blessing Pardy

She's here!  She's arrived!  And though it's been a few weeks since I've touched the blog, I couldn't jump back into writing without first introducing you to the beautiful reason for a pause in my blogging...

Please join me in celebrating the arrival of my third daughter!

Vivian Margot Blessing Pardy

Born Sunday, August 16, 2015 

(on her daddy's birthday!)

at 9:46 in the morning

8lb. 1oz. and 18.75" long

She is a happy baby and her older sisters just adore her.  It hasn't been the easiest recovery for me, but I can't complain as I stare into the eyes of this perfectly healthy baby, thanking God for the miracle of another precious life that has been gifted to our family.

We've got a LOT of catching up to do - and I'm bursting with stories to share!  What was it like to have a planned c-section? How did the girls react to their new sister? How did you come up with that name? and so much more...

Here are some more pics of the sweet girl to stir up/appease your baby fever.  Enjoy!

How to Grow a Human in 9 Easy Months

It's the final stretch!

I'm scheduled to deliver this baby via c-section on Sunday, August 16th at 9am.  (Mark your calendars!  Prayers appreciated!)  That gives me five days to groan and gripe and worry about all the things that will probably not go awry.

Looking back, sure, these last nine months have flown by.  It's easy to gestate a human when you have mere days getting checked off the calendar.  Since this is my last (to my knowledge) pregnancy, I've tried my utmost to caress my growing midsection with patience and gratitude, knowing these violent jabs to my ribs and aching hips/back are oh-so-temporary.

But, I'm ready.

From 6 weeks to 39 weeks! WHOA MAMA!
(Isn't the human body freaking amazing?!)

I'm eager to meet this little blessing in my belly, ready to smooch her face and nibble on her toes until others around me start to feel uncomfortable by my level of adoration (mothers understand this limitless ability to gawk at their newborn).

I'm ready to not be stopped in my tracks with Braxton Hicks or require a million pillows and a pulley-system to simply roll over in my own bed.  I'm ready to see my toes again and enjoy a glass of wine with dinner.  I'm ready to have my anxieties shift from pregnant worries to external concerns about parenting another new life.  Bring it on!

It bewilders me to think that only 9 months ago I didn't know what this week held in store for me.  That I thought my plate was full then, and my emotional capacity was brimming with everything I knew about at that moment.

But, when a new body grows within your own body, you start to realize how absolutely beyond your control most things are.  While this pregnancy hasn't lacked pains or challenges, I had nothing to do with the cell-building, nerve-developing, bone-growing miracle that took place right under my heart (literally).

I've always been pretty darn good at worrying.  It doesn't keep me from doing much, but it doesn't mean the fear isn't present.  Worry is familiar territory for most mothers, and it's step-sisters Doubt and Anxiety are always nearby.  They love to team up and try to steal away joy and hope and confidence, and if I'm not prayerful about staying aware of their whereabouts I can easily find myself entertaining them.

Then, I look down.  I see this giant beach ball churning under my shirt and I'm instantly reminded how I did NOTHING to grow this human.  Hands. Feet. Heart. BRAIN. All neatly woven together while I waddled through my day, working on school and household chores, showering and cooking, driving and walking, wolfing down cheeseburgers like I was making up for the vegetarians of the world.  All but ignorant of the minute intricacies that were being constructed atom by atom as my new little person formed within.

That's how I grew this human in 9 easy months.  I worried while God worked.  I trusted while God constructed.  I hoped while God created.  I don't know who this person is in me.  I don't know what she looks like or how she will act or behave or who she will grow up to be.  But, I've loved her from before I knew she existed - something else I've had no control over.

I can't wait to have this baby and introduce her to the world.  I can't wait to announce her arrival with triumph and celebration.  It's a wonderful feeling to exchange my worries for wonder, and as my final pregnancy concludes this weekend, I'm grateful for the last 9 months of ups and downs to carry this baby into the world that awaits her.

Review For All Maternity!

Hey gang!

I need your help!  As you know, I recently had my first book published (eek! Still pinching myself!)  It's been a roller coaster getting the word out, signing books, holding giveaways (more coming soon!) and now... I need REVIEWS!!!!

Now that the book has been out for a short spell, I'd LOVE your help in telling others what it's about and what YOU think about it.

The good news is, Amazon makes this super easy.

CLICK HERE TO REVIEW!

Follow the link above and click WRITE A CUSTOMER REVIEW to post your opinion of For All Maternity.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Baby "Must Haves" & Have Nots

Hi.  My name is Emily, and I'm addicted to "Pinterest Baby Must Have" lists.

Okay, addicted is too strong of a term.  But, let me tell you, gone are the days of looking up a simple newborn checklist to find what you need to prepare for a baby's arrival.  A slight peek at a Pinterest board or Google search, and you will be bombarded with list upon list of what everyone and their best friend think you GOTTA GET before your water breaks.

This is to say - one can drive oneself absolutely bonkers trying to perfectly prep for a new bundle of joy.  If you're expecting and on the verge of hyperventilating when you see these "baby must have" lists - never fear!  I am pretty sure if you have a car seat, diapers, and boobs...your baby will survive.

But, did you know baby comes with a "must have" list too???  FOR YOU???

Oh yes.  That little peanut might not be shuffling through Pinterest boards inside the womb, but believe me, baby's come with expectations of what you "must have" in order to step up to the plate of motherhood - ready or not!

Here's the list you won't find on Pinterest, and maybe the only one you really ever need (don't they all say that?)

The 10 Things Your Baby Will Provide You
Upon Arrival, Ready or Not

10. Patience. You will wait on this baby.  You will wait for labor, wait for delivery, wait for the nurse to come back and tell you everything is fine.  You will wait for test results, wait for the car to come pick you up, wait for visitors, wait for dinner, wait for a chance to sleep, wait for the baby to stop crying, wait for that first smirk and coo, wait wait wait.  It will all come in good time.  Get used to waiting. 

9. Super-Hearing.  You will suddenly have the super-power of hearing every tiny little thing remotely related to your baby.  You will hear the baby take a deep sigh rooms away.  You will hear a diaper explosion upon impact when no one else notices.  You will hear ANY slight disturbance that might have the potential to wake the baby from a much-needed slumber (and you will slay that disturbance instantaneously).

8. Time-Travel.  Just throw away your clocks.  Burn your calendars.  They are now useless in your fight against schedules.  You now live on milk o'clock and half-past poopy diaper.  Your baby will change faster than your mind can comprehend, and no amount of Instagramming can capture how much you want to hit the pause button.  Soak it up, cry it out, and allow yourself to keep moving forward in the moments as they come without the guilt of being unable to stop it.  

7. Digestive Fortitude.  You will see gross things, my friend.  Super-disgusting, nasty things you will take to your grave. Both you and your baby will give you witness to vile functions that you've only read are "natural" and "wondrous".  I'm gonna just tell you now, it's okay to cringe at you and your foul baby.  Your bodily fluids will betray you.  You will go days without a shower and forget to wash your hands after you change a poopy diaper (because for heaven's sake it's 4am and no one cares).  You will find yourself praying about things like constipation and milk ducts and be amazed at your new stomach of steel when your baby vomits all over your bare chest for the first time.  Motherhood is messy.  Welcome. 

6. Tolerance.  The rest of the world will swim around you in your baby bubble.  You will tolerate visitors who overstay (hey, if they bring food they can stay a little longer), you will tolerate advice from every source possible, you will tolerate people's "help" that comes off as criticism and stories upon stories of other mother's birth/labor/delivery/nursing experience.  You will tolerate it all because they've come to love on your new baby and suddenly that excuses just about any untactful comment possible. 

5. Narcolepsy.  You can now fall asleep anytime, at any moment, anywhere.  Good luck finding those times and places, but hey - when you do - lights out, mama!  Zzzzzz. 

4. Fear.  A whole new world of worries has just intruded your mind.  Things you never thought possible to worry about before will now plague your dreams.  Anywhere but your arms feels like a potential death-trap to  your baby.  Doubts about when to feed and how much will make you wonder if child services will knock on your door any minute.  You've become an irrational crazy person who will continue to question your skills and abilities as a caretaker from now until eternity.  This is motherhood, friend.  If you're worried, you're probably doing it right.  

3. Music.  Nevermind that you've never written a song in your life.  Don't worry if you can't carry a tune or play an instrument.  Baby's insist upon music, and like it or not, you'll be crooning jams about your Diaper Genie in no time.  You'll catch yourself in the middle of a sing-song and wonder who you've turned into.  You'll uncover new talents as you parody Curious George narratives to Taylor Swift tunes.  No one thinks it will happen to them, but it always happens.  You will sing.  Oh, you will sing.

2. Courage.  Now and forevermore, you can end a sentence with "...because I gave birth." and it suddenly empowers you to take on anything with new Chutzpah.  I know I can do extraordinary things, my body can accomplish whatever it needs to, and super powers are not beyond my reach...because I gave birth.  Hang on to this new courage to tackle the un-tackle-able.  It will serve you well in the face of parenthood.

1. Selflessness.  Your heart grew three sizes that day, whether you were the Grinch or not.  Motherhood ushers in a whole new perspective that grants you the capacity to lay down your agenda for the sake of a helpless, stinky, loudmouth, bundle of snuggles.  It makes no sense, and it never will.  And it's the closest we will ever get to experiencing Christ's love for us.  Goodbye self-centered world.  Hello baby.

This list is certainly not limited to these 10 things!  You'll have your own moments of guts and glory that will show up when you least expect it.  Babies ring in a whole new era, whether it's your first birth or last.  As you make your lists and prep for that new chapter to come, take heart!  The most important things you need to care for that little one are already inside you.

Welcome to motherhood, ready or not.

For All Maternity Book Release!

Today is the day!  For All Maternity is available to buy, and I couldn't be more excited to share it with you all!

Purchase your copy today - available at the following links:

Paperback on AMAZON

Paperback on BARNES & NOBLE

KINDLE

NOOK

APPLE

KOBO

If you'd like your copy signed by yours truly, CONTACT ME HERE and I will happily ship you an autographed bookplate absolutely free!  (Please include your mailing address and any information about personalization in the message field.)

In For All Maternity, I hope to encourage expectant couples, new moms, and those considering parenthood to ask the hard questions while humorously sharing my own tumultuous journey into motherhood. From sitting awkwardly in marriage counseling to learning how to breast-pump in the middle of the workday, my bumpy road to motherhood encounters lessons about body image, boundaries, and belief in a God who is more trustworthy than any baby manual around.

Be sure and write an Amazon review and add the book to your Goodreads list!  Thanks for all your support in helping me celebrate and get the word out on this exciting venture!

If Men Were Pregnant

Morning sickness, stretch marks, food cravings/aversions, and those wonderful strangers who think your bulging bump issues them a free pass on touching your midsection.  Ah, the joys of pregnancy.

But, let's face it gals, as much as we cringe at the roller coaster of lending out our bodies for nine months' time to the newest love of our life, we also adore the perks it offers as well.  There's the extra attention, the excuse to cut into any bathroom line, and of course the wonder of it all - growing a real life human at the speed of light (okay, some days go by faster than others).

Pregnancy is life changing to say the least, and one of the grandest perks we get as women is the ability to lord our childbearing ability over our husbands the rest of their lives.  It's the trump card of all trump cards.  The be all end all of gender wars ends in the delivery room, no doubt.

But, what if the tables were turned?  

If Men Were Pregnant...

1. "Bump Gloating" would be an actual thing, bragging about how big their bellies could get.
2. They would actually try to get stretch marks, scars to tell stories about for generations.
3. Paternity clothing stores would have names like "Big Bill's Belly Barn" or "Business Bump for the Modern Man".
4. They would get highly visible tattoos of how long they were in labor, along with the baby's weight.
5. Natural birth wouldn't exist as an option.  Men who accidentally go through childbirth without drugs would be given Presidential Medals of Honor.
6. Paternity Leave would be 18 years per child. Paid.
7. Novelty pregnancy t-shirts would say things like "Mine's Bigger" or "Play Hard, Push Harder".
8. Bars would close and be replaced by ice cream shops on every corner.
9. The most popular Superbowl ad would be a Gas-X commercial.
10. The beer industry would always be competing for the world's best non-alcoholic beer.
11. All pants have draw-strings.
12. Gift Registries don't exist.  Instead, the Bass Pro Shop offers an all-in-one baby starter kit featuring everything necessary for parental survival that comes in two colors: black or camouflage.
13. eXtreme Lamaze is the new rage for birthing prep; featuring virtual ski, surf, and rock-climbing experiences to practice heavy breathing.
14. Baby Showers would consist of 5 minutes of high-fiving and 4 hours of video games.  (Call of Doody, anyone?)
15. Every birthing suite would include a giant flatscreen TV with a Sports package.
16. Car seat prices would double and there would be whole magazines published about high-tech strollers that men are constantly begging their wives for.
17. Baby name books would be two pages long:  a page that says GIRL and a page that says BOY.
18. "Morning sickness" would be called something like "Brutal Barfing Syndrome".
19. Cankles would be featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
20. Father's Day would last a week.


I hope you found this list funny [and not too sexist].  Comment below to add your own interpretation of how the world might spin differently if males suddenly took on the role of child-bearer!