|photo cred to my 3-yr-old. |
That's me, prayin over the chaos
I hope that you were able to read the previous few posts from last week regarding our "waiting season" of life at the moment. How we up-and-moved across country. How we took a leap of faith and settled into a new home. How we're still waiting on the promise of a job for my husband to come through. How we're living life on the frustrating fence built by trust and obedience that feels like it might collapse any day now.
We've lived in Nashville about 6 weeks now, and none of them have been easy. It's not like we're facing life and death circumstances, I don't mean to belittle any hardships that others might be going through by any means. But, our time since leaving California has been fraught with obstacles; and, well, their piling up into a ridiculous mess that can no longer be ignored.
Besides my freak accident of falling down the stairs (and being debilitated for a good couple weeks), we've faced annoying strife after annoying strife. Just last week both our daughters caught the stomach flu. I got a terrible cold the day after. And the next morning, my two-year-old woke up with mysterious "bug bites" covering her arms. After 72 hours of thinking we might have bed bugs in our house (talk about a panic attack) we see two doctors and finally get a diagnosis that she is fighting a virus that should be cleared up in about a week with Benadryl and a steroid. (Poor baby!)
|sick babies are just SO SAD|
Deep in the dark of nighttime, as I lay in bed and hold my daughters close (they slept with us the last couple nights as we had to quarantine their room) I felt a small voice of assurance echoing in my heart. It sounded something like this, These are not signs of misdirection. You face these adversities because you are on the right path, not the wrong one. I never promised it would be easy. I promised I would be here. I am.
It was the sound of truth, of Jesus, of the reality that I could no longer feel but could wholeheartedly recognize, nevertheless. I have access to the peace that surpasses all understanding through the Savior, and that's the only thing I can cling to right now. As my weeks are riddled with confusion, chaos, and the grief of another job rejection, I must rest securely in the unchanging TRUTH that Jesus isn't going anywhere. Praise be.
Satan wants nothing more than to make us give up, or fight with each other, or to take credit for the job ourselves when it finally comes. I'm thinking he must especially hate that I'm writing about it all - how I honestly struggle with finding God's goodness in this messy day-to-day struggle; but, then, I don't have to be the one finding it because God is constantly pursuing ME, seeking to reveal Himself in new and amazing ways. I'm pretty sure Satan didn't like that I wrote all about the realities of unemployment last week - and how God is using that for teaching us to depend on Him more and ourselves less. And I'm sure he will hate that my husband and I are growing closer and more in love through this time.
So, please, join me in not giving up. Join me in praying openly and helping give glory to God through these hard times. Pray for my family, that God would provide for us and protect us emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically. I'm not too proud to genuinely reach out and ask you to please pray for that job to find its way to my husband, that the right door would open or the right person would pick up his call.
God is using each of us, connecting us in amazing ways, building an incredible network that will somehow glorify Him to the utmost - and we are all part of that story.
|Matilda, praying over the Dining Room|
We prayed to specifically invite the Holy Spirit into each space - every bathroom, closet, bedroom, and so on. If there was a doorway, we prayed over it. We covered it in truth, and asked God to bring peace and thanksgiving and goodness into our home.
Some of you readers might find me kooky, or paranoid, or hyper-spiritual, or just desperate. I'm cool with all those terms. What's important here, what I want you to know about me is this - I'm nothing if I'm not transparent. I'm telling you the truth about what I really believe.
I get upset, I get confused, I get angry - God knows all this. I love Jesus and talk to Him all the time - yet, it wasn't until today that I finally put hands on my doorframe and spoke aloud my prayers openly. Be specific. Be deliberate. Be fervent in your gestures and requests to Jesus. I don't think something "magical" happens when you pray out loud or extend your hands - there is NOTHING we can do that changes who God is in any way. But, it certainly changed ME, and it freed me of any burden I might feel in my home. There is only one Master of the house around here in the Pardy home, and it felt amazingly refreshing to speak that out loud again and again and again.
Thank you for your prayers. I feel them and know they are lifting me up each day. I cherish them and welcome them and can't wait to share so many answers to those prayers as they come.