TBT: iParenting

Throwback Thursday, a post from Fall, 2012...

I am mighty proud to have my Pardy Man guest blog this week!  Josh Pardy is more than just a handsome hubby and devoted daddy...he's also a pretty kick-butt writer.  Check out his last guest-blog here, and enjoy this week's latest lesson in his life...

Sometimes a guy just needs a reminder. And though it may sound and look trite, I can’t tell you how many times that simple alert has saved me…and more importantly, my wife and kids.  Owning a GPS-ed, WiFi-ed, podcasting, text-receiving smart phone is just the best thing ever.  Sure I had to learn to limit myself when I discovered the likes of Angry Birds and Grantland, but the technology that is forevermore in my pocket functions as not just a great time-waster (though it certainly is that), but a powerful tool to help remind me of what’s truly important.

 It all started when I upgraded my phone and discovered a little thing called “proximity reminders”.  It’s actually pretty simple, you add a reminder to your phone, and rather than have it alert you at a certain time, you set the alert for when you get close to a pre-determined place.  As long as you don’t ever check the box next to the reminder, it will alert you (ad infinitum) as you approach your destination, day in, day out.  Ok, so maybe not so simple. 

In my case, I have the reminder “Be A Good Dad/Husband” set to alert me when I arrive at destination: Home.  Unless my phone is dead, it literally never fails.  As I come driving up to our apartment, the GPS senses that I am close to “Home,” and sends me a quick little ping: “Be A Good Dad/Husband.” 

“Be A Good Dad/Husband.”  Gee, certainly easier iReminded than done.  As a man, I take the responsibility of providing for my family very seriously.  I work hard, I get exhausted and elated, I can feel frustrated and sometimes just straight down-in-the-dumps.  And though I would love to say that simply seeing my girls causes all of that tension to just melt away, the fact of the matter is, it doesn’t.  

waiting for daddy

This Dad/Husband needs himself a reminder because he can carry around all of those raw emotions and totally miss the sweet simple joy that seeing his family can bring him after a long day at the office.   

And let me tell you, if I am willing to pay attention to it, this little reminder works!  Even after my most intense or draining days, somehow (God’s grace, most likely) seeing that little ping helps me reframe my mind, marshals energy from an unknown source, and readies me for whatever I may find when I open that door to the house.  

Probably the best part about it is, I set the reminder because I know it’s important.  Therefore, I am communicating my own desires to my own self in a way that won’t drive myself totally crazy.  I have only myself and my silly iPhone 4 to blame if I begin to feel nagged.

In the beginning, it was actually sort of embarrassing.  What kind of freako needs a proximity-based reminder to alert him of the fact that his kids need a hug, his wife needs a kiss, and everyone will need a healthy amount of attention before the night is over?  Well, truly, this freako needs it!  So I would make sure to dismiss the alert from my phones notification screen prior to walking in the door.  The alert would serve its purpose, and I would walk in ready to be the best Dad/Husband ever and no one would be the wiser to my little iParenting life-hack.  

But, one day I forgot to clear the screen.  I came in, threw my iPhone on the coffee table, plopped down and began to hear about my girls’ respective days when wouldn’t you know it, Emily went to hand me my phone and discovered the secret of my success. “Be A Good Dad/Husband” right there on the screen.  I mean really, how do you explain that?

“What’s this?” She asked.  “Oh, uh.  It’s just, like… a little something that I do…”  I stammered back. Then I copped to it and told the whole story.

Thankfully Emily thought it was sweet and not at all freakish.  But, I won’t lie, it was embarrassing! It was then that she affirmed to me that with or without the alert, I was doing a great job as a Dad and Husband.  We had a good laugh about it, but even still, most days I still need that reminder.    

Now I consider my proximity alert something of a merit badge that I will forevermore be pursuing.  It pings, I unashamedly take in its simple, yet profound message, I walk in the door and try to be a good a Dad/Husband.  That is one reminder box that I have never checked, and never will, because the work of a good Dad/Husband is never done. 

Hump Day

Wednesday!  Welcome to half-way through the week!

My 2-year-old woke me up around 5am this morning, an all-too-common-occurrence in our home.  As we were watching "Monsters University" before the TODAY Show even came on the air, I was trying to remember what day it was.  Honestly, things get busy so quickly, it was kind of nice to just sit and snuggle and not think at all.  The sweet hugs from my girl and the silliness of Mike Wazowski were a pretty good combo as far as waking up goes.  (I mean, if you have to be up at 5am, that's not a terrible way to spend it, I suppose!)

By 8am, I was low on coffee, energy, and inspiration.  So, I cracked open my copy of Jesus Calling and read a few pages from this daily devotional that I love so much.  Even though it is a day-by-day read, there are always plenty of days that slip through the cracks of life's craziness, so I like to flip around and find inspiration.

Here's something that resonated with me and I hope encourages you today:

From the book Jesus Calling, January 16: 

Come to Me, and rest in My Loving Presence.  You know that this day will bring difficulties, and you are trying to think your way through those trials.  As you anticipate what is ahead of you, you forget that I am with you - now and always.  Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur.  Do not multiply your suffering in this way!  Instead, come to Me, and relax in My Peace.  I will strengthen you and prepare you for this day, transforming your fear into confident trust.

Have a beautiful day, my friends!

Mall Rat

Happy Holidays!  Wait - already????

Yes, apparently so.  The mall is already decked out from top to bottom in tinsel and garlands.  The Christmas tree is up and there are creepy reindeer and little elves on every corner staring down at the shoppers as they pass from store to store.  And...I would know this because the mall is my new home away from my home away from home.  Yep, I've added yet another obligation to my already cringe-worthy schedule:  seasonal help at the mall!

I've accepted a part-time position at Pottery Barn Kids at a nearby mall.  It's a beautiful setting chock full of ridiculously expensive items that I'm sure I'll be tempted to splurge on (but, alas, cannot afford) in every nook and cranny.

Am I a glutton for punishment?  Am I trying to be the first overachiever at overachieving?  These are excellent questions, and ones I've considered myself!

As a wife, a mother of two, a freelance writer, and a full-time grad student, I often feel like I already have about a dozen jobs to juggle.  The simple truth, however, is that I'm spending a WHOLE bunch of time to a whole lot of work that doesn't really pay anything.

And, well, if you've ever been a kid on Christmas morning you realize how disappointing it would be if you opened your stocking to discover a note that says "Your mom wrote you a blog for Christmas!  Love, Santa"  Hmmm, yeah, that doesn't fly with a 4-year-old and 2-year-old.  Haha!  So...mommy's picked up a little seasonal job to help Santa's Christmas budget along.  :)

I'm excited about it, actually!  As much as the reality is that I'm working for the money, I'm excited to embrace a new opportunity to meet people, be around lovely holiday decor, and somehow let my gifts be used in a new setting.  I'm able to work evenings and weekends, so I'm thankful to have a willing husband who is getting some quality time with our girls when I'm away.  This is a TEAM Pardy effort, no doubt - just like parenting and school and work are.

Certainly, I'm convinced more caffeine than actual blood is running through my veins these days.  Don't get me wrong - I've pretty much abandoned the idea that "balance" exists, and I'm fully depending on the grace of God to get me through the days ahead.  But, as I bring you in on this new chaotic step in my life, I hope that it will encourage you to just love what you are doing wherever you are, and to look for the ways in which God can use you no matter what.

So - be kind to those crazy checker-outers at the mall as you shop this holiday season!  It's gonna be nuts out there, with shoppers and sales seeming more intense than ever before.  Keep your cool and smile as you shop - you never know when you might be smiling at an insane, wife/mother/writer/student who is doing her best to keep it all together.

God is good.  And the season for smiles is just getting started...

Lady Bug

As my eldest daughter turned four on Friday, we went to the park to celebrate her love of nature, her rambunctious spirit, and the beauty of the post-Halloween-storm sunny and clear day!  It really was a perfect Fall day - crisp breeze in the air, leaves crunching under your sneakers, and the sound of children's laughter resonating in the wind.

Matilda loves the outdoors.  I think she would spend eternity out there if I let her, just exploring nature's jungle gym of trees and the unknown world of horticulture that awaits her every step.  But, even more than the outdoors...she loves to PLAY.  And, so, you can see why the playground is her absolute favorite thing in her limited four-year-old universe.

As she bounced from step to step, to slide, to ladder, to swing, to step, to ladder, to (okay, you get the picture, I'm raising a monkey)...whew!  She managed to make her way to the edge of the playground where there is a short, brick wall that you can climb up on.  As she climbed up, she spotted a few lady bugs dotting the top of the wall, taking in the afternoon sun.

"Ohhh, my LADIES!" she burst.  And suddenly she was down on their level, eager to see if one of them would climb upon her tiny hand.  A couple of them would get close, and she would squeal with delight at their touch.  I watched as she was fully engaged with them.  Nothing else existed in that moment for her.  These were her lady bugs and she was totally enraptured by them.

When's the last time I felt that way by accident? I thought to myself.  And, I didn't really have an answer.  Sure, there are times I purposefully throw myself into something to focus on how passionate I am...but, to just stumble upon that kind of passion by accident is very rare.

So many times I'm too distracted to truly absorb the beauty of the present.  I do my best to not miss a moment that involves my kids or some special moment.  But, when I'm in the midst of my everyday, mundane routine, I can easily gloss over the details.  Sometimes I even think this is necessary for my survival, so that I can just get things done!  But, I had to wonder - what am I missing out on when I do that?

Sure enough, the lady bug moment was over in a few short minutes.  She was up in a leap and quick to find the next wholeheartedly wondrous item to cast her devotion upon.  (I think it was a slug.)  But, it was so beautiful to watch my child just BE there, and commit herself to the present.

This is exactly why it's such a privilege to be a parent, to witness these haphazard blessings that sprout up in the middle of nowhere.  Maybe I'll notice a lady bug next time it lands on my shoulder...or, maybe I'll smile at that grumpy lady in the grocery store as she passes by because I took the extra second to notice her...or, maybe I'll take a deep breath the next time I feel like spitting words of fire that I can't take back...so many maybes are up for grabs.  

But each "maybe" starts with that extra moment; that second to think, to engage, to be present in what's happening in the here and now.

And each maybe can be turned into a miracle that can change so many moments to come.