Sib Club

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

My girls are getting to the age where they have their own world.  They share a room, and being only 20 months apart in age, I've always known they are forced-into-friendship simply by vicinity.  They share clothes, toys, and have been known to strangle one another over which sister gets what accessories when it comes to dress-up time.  Typical sisters, right?

But, it's only been recently, as Daphne's vocabulary swells, that they've begun to share stories, secrets, and fully-acted-out-imaginary worlds.  Their playtime (in the precious moments where they are getting along and somewhat focused) can evolve the simplest idea into a grand invention.  One second they are picking grass for no reason, the next second they are wilderness explorers, huddled up in their clubhouse, on a mission to find a secret worm needed to save the world.

It's their very own "sibling club", and no one else can ever truly break into that relationship.

It's mysterious and beautiful to see my girls creating their bond right in front of my eyes.  I recently heard a podcast about the importance of siblings, and it made me so grateful that my girls have each other in this world.   The podcast featured Jeffrey Kluger, who wrote a book called "The Sibling Effect" and he put it so eloquently, I'd like to share an excerpt from his book that really helped me view this relationship in a way I never had before:

The universe of human relationships is an impossibly varied one. Wives have their husbands; children have their parents; lovers have their partners; friends have one another. There are cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents, schoolmates and colleagues and rivals and peers. Every one of those relationships plays out under its own set of rules and rituals, each unique, each elaborate. For all that richness and complexity, however, there may be no relationships that can run quite as deep or survive quite as long as those among siblings. You know it if you grew up with one. You know it if you’re raising some. You know it if you’ve merely watched a group of them interact. 
From the time we’re born, our brothers and sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and our cautionary tales. They are our scolds, protectors, goads, tormentors, playmates, counselors, sources of envy, objects of pride. They help us learn how to resolve conflicts and how not to; how to conduct friendships and when to walk away from them. Sisters teach brothers about the mysteries of girls; brothers teach sisters about the puzzle of boys. Bigger sibs learn to nurture by mentoring little ones; little sibs learn about wisdom by heeding the older ones. Our spouses and children arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents leave us too early. “Our brothers and sisters,” says family sociologist Katherine Conger of the University of California, Davis, “are with us for the whole journey.”
Even if you don't have a biological sibling, you can probably relate on some level to a deep friendship that carried you through the years.  I love my sister and my brother, and I'm incredibly grateful to have a deep and honest relationship with both of them - people I've loved and fought with, who've seen me achieve more than ever expected, who've seen me grieve at my very worst, who have shared triumphs and tragedies at the moment they've occurred, and who are stuck with me as a comrade for life.

Siblings are special.  They are unique.  And if you have one, you have access to your own club that only you and your siblings know the password to.  I'm anxious to get this book and read more about the effect this relationship has played in my life.  And in the meantime, I'm excited to be on this side of observing siblings as they mold one another through the years to come under my own roof.  (I wonder if they already have a secret handshake?)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Your comments make my day! Please share!

Proudly designed by | mlekoshiPlayground |