My life is a series of deadlines right now. Goals, checklists, schedules, and countdowns cloud my brain like you wouldn't believe. (Okay, maybe you would!)
19 weeks until the baby is due
16 weeks until grad school ends
7 weeks until summer semester starts
5 weeks until our family roadtrip
3 weeks until the spring semester ends
1 week until I have three big projects due
And the list goes on...
It's a game of red-light-green-light in the crossroads of my brain, constantly starting and stopping tasks, trying to manage the mental traffic jam that keeps clogging my thoughts. Ya feel me on this one, folks?
WHERE IS MY EASY BUTTON?
The truth is, even if I had an easy button there is a good chance that by now it would be so punched-in from overuse I would have broken it by now. (No doubt it would be covered in marker and sticky fingerprints at the very least!)
Why, oh why doesn't God give us an easy button in life? Why must I trudge on and exhaust myself on the never-ending chores that strings together days into weeks?
Because, it matters.
I cling to this truth minute by minute. God cares and loves us enough to place us within a time-containing world where we get to consciously enjoy the experience of the present unlike any of His other creations. But, this is oh-so-much harder than it sounds.
These little moments that make up pathways to deadlines are LIFE itself. I keep having to remind myself that it's here, it's happening, it's now. I don't know about you, but when my kids are yelling, the water is boiling over on the stove, and the pile of laundry yet-to-be-folded piles higher and higher on my couch, the very last thing on my to-do list is to stop and cherish the moment!
I get so easily caught up in the WHAT to do that I completely lose sight of the HOW amazing it all is. I have children! I have a house! I have a husband who kisses me daily! I have a brain that soaks up new ridiculous information!
But most days, I can hardly hear these wonders over all the complaining and grumbling clouding my mind. I'm tired. I'm too busy. I'm not perfect. (Hey - don't leave me hanging here - please high-five me on these vulnerable feelings!)
But, good grief, I'm in it for the long haul and not willing to hit the fast-forward button on any of it.
Life is stupid-short. This whole "time" thing is uncomfortable and unsettling because our souls long for an eternal space where they can stretch out and won't need to comprehend the definition of "balance". In this world, we don't have the luxury of hitting the pause button, going into slow-motion, or skipping past the parts we don't like. What's better, we have the privilege of handing over the remote control of our lives to the only One who truly knows how the story should play out.
Okay, God. If I can't edit my life into a highlight reel, then I'm sure glad You are in the director's seat!
Let's stop counting down and start counting blessings instead. Join me in the effort to stop searching for the easy button in life. (Deep breaths! Hugs! High fives! We can do it!)
We're in this together, folks! And while it might not get easier, it sure does get sweeter.