Why I'm Becoming a Therapist (pt. 2)

Yesterday, I talked a little about why I'm going back to school to get my Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy.  It's pretty crazy to think that in not too long, someone will actually be referring to ME as their therapist!?!

Have you ever been to therapy?  Does it scare the socks off you?  Do you picture an ominous couch and someone furrowing their brow at you and taking notes about your childhood?  That's okay.  I've been there too.

I went to my first therapist years ago when I was struggling with depression.  I have gone to non-Christian counselors, licensed Psychiatrists (yes, the ones with the Rx pads), and Christian counselors - both trained and untrained.  If you have a fear based on actually having gone to counseling before, there's a good chance that I've lived a similar experience in the past.

Yet, here I am, climbing the mountain of education to get to the other side....to become the one sitting on the chair holding the notepad, instead of the one laying in a heap of used Kleenexes on the couch (okay, seriously, not every session is like that!)

WHY? Why do I want to become a therapist?

I want to extinguish the stigma that people 

should go to therapy because they have a "problem".

Do you know ANYONE who doesn't have a problem?  Really.  Really?  No problems at all?  Let me just answer that question for you:  No.  You don't.  None of us know anyone who doesn't have a problem.  Mainly, this is because WE are exactly what is wrong with the world!  We are a fallen and selfish and sinful people - yes - all of us.

Yet, (and I'll come right out and say that the church has a long way to go on turning this tide) when we hear that someone is going to counseling or seeing a therapist, what is the first thing that pops in our mind?  Gee, I wonder what their problem is?

For the record, yes, of course when crises arise it is a good time to see someone specially trained to help that person through a particularly volatile time.  But, my point is that over the years, we've pegged this vocation as one to be "the last resort" or somewhere people turn "when nothing else has worked".

Or, we sit back and judge others for going to therapy and think things like "they just don't have enough faith" or "things must really be terrible if they can't get through this on their own".  If you've never thought these things, then I applaud you - but, if you have, then you are exactly like me...before I went to counseling.


Yes, I first went out of crisis.  But, over the years, as I've encountered a wide variety of therapists from many walks of life, I've uncovered an incredible diamond in the rough.  Therapists - the good ones, the ones that love Jesus, the ones that are vitally equipped to pass on information and wisdom - can be a crucial vessel God uses to change lives, save marriages, and restore relationships.

I can tell you this much, the most valuable sessions I've had in therapy haven't been at volatile or shaky times in my life.  It's been when I was the happiest, the most "secure" and therefore, the most motivated times of my life to step outside my comfort zone and reach for the truest, most compassionate person God has called me to be.  The simple truth is that when we feel our best, we are usually our bravest.  And that is a GREAT time to be in therapy.

In earning an education to help others better equip themselves to seek out who God wants them to be, how He wants them to best reflect His character, and why He wants them to develop skills to communicate on His behalf...I hope to help break down this stigma of "hurt people" being the only ones who need it.

We're all hurting.  We're all broken.  And we can ALL play a part in the epic story of healing that Jesus so earnestly invites us to.

*TONIGHT is my first class!  Be sure and check back tomorrow to see how it went!

Why I'm Becoming a Therapist (pt. 1)

As you may have heard by now, I'm heading back to school!  It's been a loooong time since I've been in the classroom.  Okay (ahem) almost 8 years.  It's still hard for me to believe that I'm in graduate school since only a decade ago I wasn't even ever sure I would (or could) get my Bachelor's degree, let alone a Masters.

I haven't always liked school, but I've always loved the "idea" of school.  Needless to say, I was as shocked as anyone when I genuinely started entertaining the thought of going back.  I'll be the first to admit that I attained my Bachelor's in English by the skin of my teeth.  (I truly flirted my way through Spanish III so that I fulfilled the language requirement.  Otherwise, I'd still be 3 credits and many un-conjugated-Spanish-words away from holding a degree in my hands.  Whew!)

But, the beautiful thing about graduate school (and one of the things I'm most looking forward to) is that everyone really wants to be there.  Every student there has worked hard and specifically applied to get to this time and place, and everyone is interested in the same subject matter.  Yay!  I can't wait to be meeting my fellow psychopaths (though I may withhold that particular nickname until a few weeks into school).

I'm going to get my Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy.  Yes, I will be a licensed therapist when all is said and done (that is, after many many many more hours of accumulating licensing hours even after I have my degree in hand).  So, this is a genuine commitment, and I'm in it for the long haul.

Why in the world would I want to be a therapist? 

Well, first of all, my primary reason is that I'm called to it.  No, I don't think I have what it takes to "fix others"...but, I do believe that Jesus does.  And I believe that a whole host of a never-ending education (in and outside of the classroom) will help me be able to relate this to anyone who God may place in my path.

I always thought about becoming a therapist "later on" when my kids were in school and I had life more figured out and it was "convenient" etc. etc. etc.  You get the picture.  Then, as we began talking about moving to Nashville last fall, I started to have some conversations with people I deeply respect who literally just pegged the question at me (many times, out of the blue, within about a week's time) Have you ever thought about becoming a therapist?

I actually had.  Many times.  But, I kept sweeping the idea out of the way simply because it didn't "fit"into my lifestyle at the moment. Still, when that many people pose the same question to you, it kind of makes you stop and wonder.  So, I did.  I wondered.  Then I googled.  And soon enough I found myself showing my husband websites of universities in Tennessee that offered programs that fit both our schedules and our dreams.  It was weird.  It was surprising.  It was everything I'd been waiting on.

Okay, okay (I can hear you saying) but why a therapist?  

Here's the thing about therapy.  Think about having coffee with your best friend.  They understand you, they want to be around you, they like to listen to you.  Now, imagine telling that friend anything or everything you may be feeling or worried about, or just excited about, or really anything.

You completely trust your friend...but, if you are being honest with yourself, your friend has deep opinions about your life and others around you.  Of course they do - they should - that's what friends are for.

Now, replace that best friend with an unfamiliar, yet kind face.  Someone who is approachable, will pray for and over you, and someone who you trust completely within moments of meeting them.  This person listens to you, they validate you, they are concerned with the reality of truth and your perception of it rather than how things may just appear.

They have no judgment, they are only here to help.  And, just when you feel like you are getting a little bored, they pose a perfect question or scenario to make you reconsider a new angle of looking at your life that you would not have considered otherwise.  They are the objective and safe voice that respects and considers who you are and why.

That's what a therapist has done for me in the past.  That's what a good therapist does.  (And so much more - and yet even more that I have yet to learn!)

If the idea of a therapist is uncomfortable for you - I'm going to guess that you probably have never been to a therapist before, or you've been to a really bad one.  I can say this, because I've been there, and I've been to both, and I can understand your hesitation.

Unfortunately, as in any occupation, there are some terrible, ill-equipped people doing this job.  Sure.  It happens.  Just like there are awful lawyers out there.  Just like there are smarmy mechanics.  Just like there are jaded teachers or bitter pastors.  And, if you've gone to a terrible counselor (or even know someone who has) and felt like they were master-mind manipulators out to get paid exorbitant amounts of money just to ask "How does that make you feel?" then you probably have very little respect for the occupation.

BUT - this is where I come in and give you a hug and ask you to take a second look.  I'm sorry if that's happened to you.  That was not cool.  And on behalf of what will soon be "my people" (haha) I cringe at the idea of anyone mis-using or abusing the teachings of psychology and communication to mis-lead or manipulate in any way.  That's not what a counselor should be.  And that's definitely not what Christian counseling is all about.

I'm becoming a therapist because I believe the greatest Counselor of ALL TIME was Jesus Christ.  My gifts and interests culminate at a point where I want to understand others and help them identify with Jesus and seek Him for their healing as they grow to understand how their lives (every aspect of it) can be a resourceful tool for His glory.

Jesus didn't just come down to earth, die, and leave.  He came and related to others.  He listened, He felt, He taught, and He equipped.  He granted us numerous tools (love, respect, and encouragement, just to name a few) to share among others - all of which reflect HIS characteristics.  I can only hope I can be that kind of counselor in the future to someone else.

It probably goes without saying, but another huge reason for my getting my Masters in this, is simply to enrich my writing.  As you know, I love to write about marriage and family - what it means, the honest struggles it includes, and the journey I'm taking in learning through it all.  I can't think of a better education to receive for what I know and love than to dig deeper and acquire the academic credential my heart is already on fire for.  Basically, I want the knowledge to match the passion...so, I'm getting it.

Stay tuned...tomorrow, I'm continuing this topic.  I have another HUGE reason I'm becoming a therapist that just might surprise you.

Back to School

School buses drive by.  Jeans are on sale.  And the scent of pencil lead and erasers fills the air when you walk into Target.  It can all only mean one thing:  back to school time.

Last night, I went to "Grad School Orientation".  Yup, the rumors are true:  I'm a student again.  As I walked off the elevator and straight into a line to get my Student ID card, it really started to hit me.  I'm a student.  

It's not like I didn't know this was coming.  Eight months ago I began the process of applying to grad school to pursue my Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy (MFT).  It was a grueling process of studying for the GRE (barf), seeking out references, writing an admissions essay, and then having an interview via Skype.  All that, leading up to a single defining moment in my life when I open an email to see the word I'd been crossing my fingers for:  Accepted.

That sealed the deal.  I became a Grad Student right then and there.  But, it wasn't until last night, as I fumbled with the orientation packet in my hands while I waited in line, that I actually felt the magnitude of what I was getting myself into.

I took a seat in a big room filled with dozens of other students, all pursuing post-graduate degrees, but not necessarily the same as mine.  I had flashbacks of my early days as a new Freshman, sizing up these strangers and trying to spot a friendly face among them.  Sure enough, a kind girl that I had stood next to in line for ID cards had already saved me a seat.  Insta-friend.  Nice.

Got my smarty specs on.

We sat through about an hour of some important-guy-in-a-bow-tie drone on about the history of the school, the campus, and various other facts that I'm sure most of us have already forgotten.  (The nerd-for-higher-education in me actually found most of it fascinating, though even I was rubbing my eyes near the end of his lengthy presentation.)

When all was said and done, I had become a member of a new family.  A new class, eager to learn and ready to be challenged.  While most of us seemed nervous and excited, I looked across the room and saw a strange village of people, united by determination if nothing else.  We were all there because we wanted the same thing, essentially:  to better ourselves in order to create a difference.  

Yep.  This is right where I'm suppose to be.

Time to hit the books.

*Next week I'll be sharing all about why I decided to go back to school!

Share & Care Contest

As you know, here on PARDYMAMA, I'm all about sharing and caring.  I try to live and write transparently, sharing because I care about life and stories and allowing God to take the reigns and utilize the story of my life to show others truth or grace or humor, or who knows what else.

So, now I'm asking you to help me SHARE this writing venture of mine.  HOW?

There are three ways to enter the contest:
From August 15th through September 1st 2013

1. LIKE my FACEBOOK PAGE if you haven't already. 

(Those of you that have liked it already are automatically entered ONCE! Yay!)

2. SHARE my Facebook page or a link to my blog posts on Facebook.  

(You can do this simply by clicking "SHARE" at the bottom of a post listed on Facebook! New OR old posts!)

3. RETWEET my blog on Twitter.  

(Follow me @pardymama if you aren't already, and just click the RT symbol whenever I tweet out a link to a new post!)

AND, you can enter up to THREE TIMES EVERY DAY!!!! This means you could retweet three times, or share on Facebook three times, or mix it up and do a little of both.  However you wanna enter, I'll put your name in the hat up to THREE times each day.  Woohoo!

Each time you enter, you'll get your name placed in a drawing for the 

ULTIMATE PARDYMAMA CARE PACKAGE!

(Aha!  So this is where the "caring" comes in!)

This care package will be bursting with goodies!  Since moving to Nashville, I've stumbled upon some AMAZING local indulgences.  There are some local coffee roasters, a chocolate company, and even a line of lotion that I've fallen in love with.  I'll also be throwing in a few of my favorite books for you to enjoy.  But, I say all this just to tease you a bit, because... 

In the next couple weeks, I'll occasionally be listing an item at the bottom of a new blog post that will be included in the care package!  SO - be on the look out for goodies that might soon be YOURS!

Official WINNER will be announced on 

MONDAY, September 2nd

Time to SHARE and CARE!  Let's do this!