School Girls

Today marked a milestone for the Pardy girls: they started "school" today!  Okay, so it's not really, truly for-real school, but it is being away from mama and under the authority and care of another for about 5 hours.  Whew!

My girls, Matilda (4) and Daphne (2) are enrolled in a one-day-a-week Mother's Day Out program at a local church.  I had been gearing my emotions up for this day for many weeks now.  I scoped out the site well over two months ago and was thrilled with the care and attention and kindness that the staff showed.  I was also glad they were accepting youngsters mid-semester and able to fit my girls into a Thursday only schedule. (Like finding a needle in a haystack in the middle of the night, let me tell you.)

Matilda has been excited for the last 10 weeks anticipating the arrival of "School day".  Daphne, however, did not grasp the concept until her world came shattering down about 9:30am this morning when I said good-bye and handed her the kitty backpack with matching lunch bag.  (Somewhere in my heart I felt like the ratio of cuteness-to-sadness would be diminished by the sheer adorableness of a tiny pink matching back/lunchpack duo.  I was sorely mistaken.)  Still, I could hear her crying quiet down even 10 seconds later as I made my way down the school hallway.

Matilda was ready to high-five and start playtime and blow me off for good.  A big "thumbs up" and she became THE icebreaker of the classroom.  "Hi!  My name is Matilda.  I'm four.  I had my birthday party at McDonald's!" (This is her standard greeting to anyone who will bat an eye at her.)  Love that spirit.

My girls are growing up!  They are looking like real, for-real PEOPLE.  Like, actual humans who are their own little selves creating paths and adventures that stem off of the beaten road I've carved out for them.  Sure, they've always been individual beings, but there's nothing like seeing those little faces grow and shape into  tangible absorbers of real life.

I didn't shed a tear.  I didn't break down in the car.  This bodes well for Kindergarten down the road (no   promises, even the IDEA of it gets me a little weepy) but, I'm so proud of my girls for taking this step and working with me and Josh towards a routine and a goal for our family to function well.  It's exciting to think about how this will progress our family.  New crafts, new ideas, new friends, new education - all things that will soon fill my home (and my ears) out of one small shift in our routine.

School girls, you make your mama proud!

Planuary

I'm no expert on organization or how to de-crazy your life.  I tend to be a "just-make-it-till-bedtime" kind of mother, and all too often I am left staring at a to-do list with extra tasks still rattling around in my mind.  It never seems to all get done; and if it does, it's an extremely short-lived victory.

So, I've been trying my best over the last few weeks on "break" to summon the strength and motivation in order to plan for a bit more sanity in the year ahead.  My three "tips" below aren't original necessarily innovative.  But, they are simple, attainable, and it's what I plan to implement into my own life this year so that I can reach beyond survival mode and actually thrive amidst the mayhem.

Welcome to PLANUARY: my game plan for sanity this January which I hope inspires motivation in the days ahead.

1. MEAL PLAN is a four letter word in my home.  
Two four letter words for that matter.  Ugh.  The thought of it is intimidating and wearisome, I get it.  But, instead of planning out an entire month, or even three meals a day for an entire week - limit it to the one meal everyone has on their minds:  Supper.

Almost every day I felt this burden for coming up with a grand idea for sustaining the nourishment of my family and creating a Norman Rockwell moment at 6pm each night.  Rarely did this actually happen.  And, when left with no default to lean back on, I would all-to-often end up ordering pizza and justify the expense (both financial and caloric) with my stressful state and busy calendar.

Sure, pizza night is gonna happen once in a while - it should!  But, I want to plan for it, enjoy it, and indulge guilt-free.  While we might scrounge for breakfast and lunch (keeping bread, eggs, lunchmeat, and canned soups on hand is not so difficult after all) I know exactly what we're gonna have for supper that night.

Keeping it simple:  Take inventory of what you have.  List meats and sides, and then match them up and cross them off the list.  Then, jot it down on a place where you can SEE it.  Don't think about it too much - just look at the days you know you will be home for supper and write down the idea (be sure to note if you need to defrost something ahead of time).  You don't need to roast a turkey every Wednesday - I have "frozen pizza" down for Friday night because I know that's a high-risk-ordering-in night for me.  Be practical, realistic, and only take it one meal/one week at a time.  If I can do it, you can do it!  Honestly, to look over and know what's for dinner is a HUGE relief for me.  It eliminates the guessing game and the burden, which is well worth the 20 minutes each weekend to look in my cabinets and write it out.

2. CLEAN HOUSE - what's that?
I can't imagine the thought of having every room clean in my home.  I go to bed thinking "Tomorrow I will have the energy to tackle this, this, and also that." Then I wake up early to the grumpy sounds of children arguing and everything shifts to the bottom of the totem pole until it's suddenly the end of the day and there are even more Cheerios ground into my carpet.  How do you spell frustration? C-h-i-l-d-r-e-n   I get it.

Keeping it simple: Don't tackle the whole house.  Don't even try a whole floor.  Just start with the most disgusting room (or closet, or counter, or teeny-tiny shelf) in your home and get it satisfactory.  No one is coming in with white gloves to test your cleaning skills, no one is bringing you a trophy later for your endeavors, no one is probably going to even notice that your toilet bowl went from Frat-boy-status to Mr-Clean-worthy.  Don't kill yourself, just do what you can and high-five yourself.

We ALL have dishes.  We ALL have laundry on our floors.  We ALL have swept those Cheerios under the couch before our playdate arrived.  Life happens and you can't live under the burden of maintaining a June Cleever home.  You are not alone - but, you are also not a pig.  You have 10 minutes to tackle ONE thing and it will make everyone feel better.  The best part?  Cleaning ONE thing usually is all the motivation I need to tackle just one MORE thing (when I have time).  And while it might not last for long, it's the small victories that help us sleep at night.

3. SAVE THE DATE - for your marriage.
Ever get those adorable "Save the Dates" in the mail for your friend's wedding?  Don't they look so picturesque and romantic?  While they might remind us of younger years when it was easier to go out and be alone with your hunk of a husband, it also can make me sigh in jealousy wishing life wasn't too crazy for dating the man I love.

Week to week is bogged down with obligations.  If I wait until Thursday to figure out a plan, I'm way too late.  If I can't find child care, I give up.  There are many hurdles when it comes to finding alone time with our spouses.

Keeping it simple: Text your babysitter RIGHT NOW - ask her for a free Friday night in February or March and then MARK IT ON THE CALENDAR.  Tell your husband to make sure that night is clear.  Put the date in your phone/email/planner so that you are sure to schedule around it.  If your doctor or friend or child's teacher asked you to save a date, you would.  Don't put your hubby at the bottom of the list.  Stick a happy post-it note on your fridge (right next to those wedding invites) and save the date.  You have plenty of time to think up fun and cheap ideas for what to do with that night, as well as save back some change to blow for the event (no matter how small or big).



That's it!  Choose one - or all - to implement into your own crazy life.  Send me YOUR ideas for how you plan to shift your focus, ease your guilt, or save your sanity this year!  As we exchange ideas and encourage one another, we might just make it to 2015 with smiles on our faces.  :)

Only Tuesday

I get it.  You're feeling overwhelmed and maybe even already behind...and it's only Tuesday.

As I returned from a "quick trip" to Target (I went in for diapers - why am I carrying three bags?) I stumble into our home with my girls, all of us pink-cheeked from the ten degree weather outside.  I had found two packs of baby wipes in my back seat that froze solid, so I figure I'll see how they thaw out and let the girls use them as bricks for a fort in the meantime.

I check my email, my voicemail, I make a couple calls as I put "Despicable Me2" on tv for my girls to watch while I simultaneously pull out a smorgasbord from the fridge (graham crackers, shrimp, cheese sticks and cucumbers do make a meal, right?) I started putting away the things we "needed" from the store.

With my phone under my cheek, dishes in hand, I see my two-year-old out the corner of my eye as she proudly pours an entire box of goldfish crackers on our coffee table.  I would have screamed if I could conjure up the energy (or not been on the phone at the time) and instead I just sighed deeply at the sight.  I don't know if I was more frustrated with her or more discouraged in the knowledge that I would have to be the one to clean it all up.

I hung up the phone and closed my eyes.  It's ONLY TUESDAY!  And then it hit me.  Deep breath.  It's only Tuesday.  Get a grip, woman.  It's not the end of the world, it's not a major holiday, it's not even the start of the new school year (thanks to Nashville's fear of the snowpocalypse, my grad class was cancelled today).  It's ONLY Tuesday, and this is good news.

Right.  Good news, that's what I needed.  Even the smallest of victories can overcome the mountains of frustration when it comes to parenting.  I look over and see my girls giggling and then my four-year-old says "Mmm, this lunch is good!" and then she lifts her shirt up so I can see her protruding belly full from the bounty.

I'm so blessed.  I'm so grateful to have crackers on smushed into my carpet and frozen packs of baby wipes.  It's stupid and silly and not real problems.  My life is full of wonderfully inconvenient delays and frustrations.  It's maxed out with delightful complaints and glorious interruptions.  There is much to celebrate in the mischievous, the mundane, and the majestically messy.

Much to celebrate - and it's only Tuesday!  Deep breaths mamas - party on.

Fresh Start

I'm BACK!  Hello world, hello new year, hello FRESH START and new beginnings.

Last year was CRAZY and I don't expect any less insanity in 2014.  It will surely be different craziness, as I don't plan on moving 2,000 miles with two toddlers and embarking on a entirely new course for my life by starting grad school.  Still, the year ahead marks a milestone of transition that is in process as we continue to grasp our bearings on our new life in Nashville.

For many of you, the new year started last week, when the clock struck midnight and your diet kicked into full swing.  But, despited the blanket of ice that has immobilized the surrounding metropolis, today is a day of MOVEMENT in my soul for the coming months ahead.

Each year brings change.  Change is rarely comfortable, and so preparing for a new horizon of possibilities can feel daunting at times.  As I rested over the holidays (oh, and also worked my buns off at the mall handling the wackiest of customers) I was reminded how my actions are merely a reflection of the strength God provides me.

I do because He did.  Not the other way around.

I felt fear in looking ahead at my schedule for the coming year:  All the obligations I have as a mother to wipe noses and make sure I hug and kiss enough and read the right story books and get them to eat at least one vegetable.  All the passion I have as a wife to serve my husband well and encourage him and speak truth to him and love him with genuine respect and admiration and romance.  All the fortitude and determination I sink into being a grad student, the piles of books and papers and the unattainable task to always be the best in class.  All the anxiety and excitement of taking on my first clients for therapy and being vulnerable enough to absorb the critiques of my supervisors.

It's a lot.  It's too much for me.  But, it's not too much for my God, and not a surprise to Him at all that I recognize my weakness through the challenges of the life I'm living.

There are a lot of goals I have for 2014, but essentially they all culminate into one word:  thrive.  I don't want to just survive anymore.  I don't want to just see what's in store for the day and check boxes that get me from A to Z.  I don't want to just look down and see the tracks I've made in the path behind me, but I want to stake out new ground, uncover new strengths, and seek out fresh perspectives that I've never known before.

There are many midnights ahead of us to create, and recreate continual resolutions for the days ahead.  We can each take refuge in the strength we don't have by resting in the assurance of the stronghold that we do.  Thank you God for a fresh start, for the chance to change, to refine, to restore.  Thank you for new years and new opportunities.  Your grace is like new fallen snow, even as my dirty black boots trudge through the unchartered areas.

Thank you for the future.  Here I come.